i struggled on what to name this post, so i’ll just call it ‘Anti-Neutral’…

The press is so powerful in its image-making role, it can make the criminal look like he’s the victim and make the victim look like he’s the criminal. This is the press, an irresponsible press… If you aren’t careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed and loving the people who are doing the oppressing.

-El Hajj Malik El Shabazz (Malcolm X), 1964

History lies at the core of every conflict. A true and unbiased understanding of the past offers the possibility of peace. The distortion or manipulation of history, in contrast, will only sow disaster.

-Ilan Pappé

“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.”

-Desmond Tutu

Here is a tip for you: If the west stands behind something, it’s a good idea to run the other way.

i am far from the greatest expert on historical events; that being said, in the near half-century i’ve been on this earth, i have come to understand two things: That the west (and its allies) installs a well-funded and well-publicized narrative which dictates geopolitical perceptions, and those who openly counter said narrative are silenced, isolated, treated patronizingly, bullied… and/or worse.

With countless, well documented evidence of the west’s objectives of global hegemony, destabilization of democratically elected governments and complete access to resources and land by any means; it is amazing that with:

-USAID’s objectives in Nicaragua (and of course NSDD-17)
-The outright plan laid in 1960 to starve the masses of Cuba out
-The CIA-backed destabilization of an Allende government in Chile
-The U.S. backed usurping of the Yanukovych government in Ukraine in 2014

…and much more, it is amazing to me that people unquestioningly and uncritically take in information on what are being called ‘global conflicts’ from news sources that are backed by Boeing, General Electric, Lockheed Martin, Raytheon and other defense companies and contractors. Every news source around the world holds a particular objective, but to only be inundated by western media, to assume that western media has the best of intentions, and to never ask questions as to why this source demonizes particular ‘opposing’ groups?

Yes, it is amazing to me.

The way many (particularly in the west) address particular events, there is no consideration of context. Major world events exist in a vacuum, outside of an historical analysis.

The 7th of October, 2023 is no different.

Israel-based historian and author Ilan Pappé stated in 2017, “The exceptional part of the story is that settler colonialism made certain connections, or made certain assumptions which were accepted in the 19th century, but looked ridiculous, inhuman and nondemocratic in the 20th century. And yet, in the particular case of Israel they still remain valid. For instance, the claim that the only way you can create a democracy in a country which has settlers and natives is if the settlers are always the majority, which is the argument of the liberal Zionists, not the right wing Zionists. The liberal Zionists, the whole peace process is based on the idea that the only way democracy can be sustained in Palestine is if the Jews are a majority in their own homeland. So this is a ridiculous assumption, that in any other context would be rejected as racist; but in the case of Israel is accepted. The interesting part of the analysis… Why educated, well-read people in the west do not see this.”

In order to understand what happened on this October day, we must understand what settler colonialism is. Colonialism is defined by dominance and subjugation. The objective of settler colonialism is the the replacement of a people, society and culture(s) that had previously existed. In order for this to be effective, methods of repression, containment, cessation and genocide must be waged. One of the most recent cases of naked, unfettered settler colonialist practice is from 2021, when Long Island, New York-based Jacob Fauci shows up to the house of the El-Kurd family, out of nowhere. Muna El-Kurd (of Sheikh Jarrah) laments the theft of the house. Fauci cavalierly responds, “…If I don’t steal it, someone else is gonna steal it.”

In his book Ten Myths About Israel, Pappé observes the word ‘occupation’ as being “somewhat redundant and relevant,” due to “(t)wo generations of Palestinians… already liv(ing) under this regime.” He argues that ‘colonialism’, which he notes as “the movement of Europeans to different parts of the world, creating new ‘white’ nations where indigenous people had once had their own kingdoms,” is far more applicable. He adds, “These nations could only be created if the settlers employed two logics: the logic of elimination- getting rid by all means possible of the indigenous people, including by genocide; and the logic of dehumanization- regarding the non-Europeans as inferior and thus not deserving the same rights as the settlers.”

We should there form a portion of a rampart of Europe against Asia, an outpost of civilization as opposed to barbarism. We should as a neutral state remain in contact with all Europe, which would have to guarantee our existence.

-Theodor Herzl

The undertaking will be made great and promising by the granting of colonial rights… In some short years the Empire would be bigger by a rich colony. The fact that nothing exists in this territory at present does not militate against my assertions.

-Theodor Herzl

You are being invited to help make history. That cannot frighten you, nor will you laugh at it. It is not in your accustomed line; it doesn’t involve Africa, but a piece of Asia Minor, not Englishmen, but Jews.

-Theodor Herzl, To Cecil Rhodes

As much as i love getting into minutiae, i’m not going to get into as much of it here; not only will others do a much better job at this subject than i; getting into minutiae will also make this piece much longer than it already will be (and you already know i love to write).

i will say this though: Theodor Herzl was part of the comprador class. He sold out his people to have a seat at the table. He was one of several who participated in advocating for negotiating the theft of land. He studied the methods of the colonizers before him, and desired the same things under the guise of historical context- the expulsion and rejection of Jewish people under various conquests and warring periods. Among discussion for the search for a Jewish homeland with the British, Uganda was one several places up for consideration.

To get even more specific (beyond Herzl), you could say that the partition of Palestine (by the British and French in particular) wasn’t unlike the results of the Berlin Conference and ‘The Scramble For Africa’. In fact, it was such a scramble that the British had a hand in the facilitation of what we are seeing today, as they made a promise to back independence movements of the Arab populations in the area, if they enlisted to help defeat the Ottomans. Amid this ‘promise’ we see negotiations at play in the early parts of 1917, between the British government and Zionists such as Nahum Sokolow and Chaim Azriel Weizmann. These negotiations resulted in a short letter, penned by foreign secretary Arthur Balfour to Walter Rothschild on November 2, 1917 (famously known as ‘The Balfour Declaration’):

Dear Lord Rothschild,

I have much pleasure in conveying to you. on behalf of His Majesty’s Government, the following declaration of sympathy with Jewish Zionist aspirations which has been submitted to, and approved by, the Cabinet

His Majesty’s Government view with favour the establishment in Palestine of a national home for the Jewish people, and will use their best endeavors to facilitate the achievement of this object, it being clearly understood that nothing shall be done which may prejudice the civil and religious rights of existing non-Jewish communities in Palestine or the rights and political status enjoyed by Jews in any other country.

I should be grateful if you would bring this declaration to the knowledge of the Zionist Federation.

Yours,

Arthur James Balfour

Interestingly, the part of the letter where it states that “…nothing shall be done which may prejudice the civil and religious rights of existing non-Jewish communities in Palestine…” was written as a means of quieting any protests from antizionist Jews and others at the time that this was an out and out land grab.

Speaking to its objectives, Bernard Regan names Zionism in his book The Balfour Declaration as “a nationalist revivalist response to the pogroms which were carried out, especially in Eastern Europe. The Zionist project of creating a homeland for the Jewish people was a minority current within the Jewish community. Those who established the movement recognized from its inception that to achieve their goal would require a powerful patron. The movement’s leaders approached every major imperial power seeking their backing: British, German, French, Russian and Ottoman potentates were all canvassed.”

If we are to study the context and history of the formation of Israel, one could say that the massive support from the EU and the U.S. in particular could be seen as a form of penance for their crimes; the reality is though, the west ultimately still sees the area as a region to control. On these recent events, Foreign Minister Yván Gil of Venezuela (a country which sent humanitarian aid to Gaza) stated, “Everything that happens there is because they want to use Israel as a military enclave in the east to control the natural wealth of the region from there.” Israel essentially exists as a military-based neo-colony of the U.S.. Current (as i write this) President Joseph Biden has also stated in the past that economic assistance to Israel is “the best $3 billion investment we make. Were there not an Israel, the United States Of America would have to invent an Israel to protect her interests in the region.”

There is no doubt that any discussion regarding the Israel/Palestine question MUST be a question of land.

The British are tricksters. The west (and the compradors) are tricksters.

Map Of Palestine (1886)

By its own admission (in both examples of Fauci and in Herzl (the founder of Zionism)’s own writings, such as The Jewish State), the foundation of Israel is based on settler colonialism, which again is defined as the replacement of people who are indigenous to the land. In the United Nations Declaration On The Rights Of Indigenous Peoples (adopted in 2007), article 2 states:

Indigenous peoples and individuals are free and equal to all other peoples and individuals and have the right to be free from any kind of discrimination, in the exercise of their rights, in particular that based on their indigenous origin or identity.

Article 3:

Indigenous peoples have the right to self-determination. By virtue of that right they freely determine their political status and freely pursue their economic, social and cultural development.

Article 8.2:

States shall provide effective mechanisms for prevention of, and redress for:

(a) Any action which has the aim or effect of depriving them of their integrity as distinct
peoples, or of their cultural values or ethnic identities;
(b) Any action which has the aim or effect of dispossessing them of their lands, territories or resources; (c) Any form of forced population transfer which has the aim or effect of violating or undermining any of their rights; (d) Any form of forced assimilation or integration; (e) Any form of propaganda designed to promote or incite racial or ethnic discrimination directed against them.

Article 9:

Indigenous peoples and individuals have the right to belong to an indigenous community or nation, in accordance with the traditions and customs of the community or nation concerned. No discrimination of any kind may arise from the exercise of such a right.

Article 30.1:

Military activities shall not take place in the lands or territories of indigenous peoples, un-
less justified by a relevant public interest or otherwise freely agreed with or requested by
the indigenous peoples concerned.

In the midst of everything happening i decided to take a close up picture of the map on my wall. The thought in my mind both as i looked at the photo and in reading the UN Declaration was, ‘Is Palestine included in this declaration?’

Palestine is absent- not only from the map on my wall, but on oft-used applications such as Google maps as well. In a 2013 paper produced by the UN Human Rights Commission entitled Indigenous Peoples and the United Nations Human Rights System, it states, “Many indigenous peoples populated areas before the arrival of others and often retain distinct cultural and political characteristics, including autonomous political and legal structures, as well as a common experience of domination by others, especially non-indigenous groups, and a strong historical and ongoing connection to their lands, territories and resources, including when they practise nomadic lifestyles.”

Even as many of the Indigenous peoples of Turtle Island (what people call the U.S.) are recognized as ‘tribes’; treaties have not been honored, their stories minimized, and people continue to live on reservations, experience educational disparities as well as a rash of health and economic struggles due to historical mistreatment. In Canada, only three are recognized: the Métis, First Nations and Inuit people. Though it was rejected by the majority, there was an election in 2022 in Chile for the adoption of a constitution (heavily supported by president Gabriel Boric) which would have replaced the previous one, which was formulated under (the U.S. backed) Augusto Pinochet. The proposed constitution addressed environmental impacts, gender and educational disparities and establishing autonomy for Indigenous peoples, including the Mapuche people. There has also recently been news about a constitutional referendum that was rejected in Australia (a whole settler colonial continent), which would have recognized Indigenous populations. The governments of settler colonial areas around the world clearly have not heeded the words of the UN. And it’s clear they don’t have to.

Especially if you don’t exist on a map.

Palestinian Refugees, 1948 (Fred Csasznik, public domain)

“I’m still convinced that nonviolence is the most potent weapon available to oppressed people in their struggle for freedom and justice. I feel that violence will only create more social problems than they will solve. That in a real sense it is impracticable for the Negro to even think of mounting a violent revolution in the United States. So I will continue to condemn riots, and continue to say to my brothers and sisters that this is not the way. And continue to affirm that there is another way. But at the same time, it is as necessary for me to be as vigorous in condemning the conditions which cause persons to feel that they must engage in riotous activities as it is for me to condemn riots. I think America must see that riots do not develop out of thin air. Certain conditions continue to exist in our society which must be condemned as vigorously as we condemn riots. But in the final analysis, a riot is the language of the unheard. And what is it that America has failed to hear? It has failed to hear that the plight of the Negro poor has worsened over the last few years. It has failed to hear that the promises of freedom and justice have not been met. And it has failed to hear that large segments of white society are more concerned about tranquility and the status quo than about justice, equality, and humanity. And so in a real sense our nation’s summers of riots are caused by our nation’s winters of delay. And as long as America postpones justice, we stand in the position of having these recurrences of violence and riots over and over again. Social justice and progress are the absolute guarantors of riot prevention.”

-Martin Luther King, Jr., 1966

“(C)hoose peace rather than confrontation, except in cases where we cannot get, where we cannot proceed, where we cannot move forward. Then, if the only alternative is violence, we will use violence.”

Nelson Mandela, 1999

I am not interested in picking up crumbs of compassion thrown from the table of someone who considers himself my master. I want the full menu of rights.

-Desmond Tutu

No matter how many aim to frame it as such, just as mentioned with any major world event; October 7, 2023 did not happen in a vacuum. People are reacting over the past number of days to 75 years’ worth of living under occupation and displacement.

Similar to what i wrote here; i would like you to once again imagine someone who has been repeatedly abused by a spouse. Their food intake is controlled. Their comings and goings are controlled. They are beaten down every single day. They are prevented from having friends, or seeing family. They ask for help but they are never supported or believed, because the abuser is a ‘pillar of the community’. There is an attempt at divorce, but it gets rejected. They have filed out a restraining order, and it has been violated. The abuser briefly goes to jail, but is friends with the judge, and the sheriff.

The person who has been abused has gone through official/legal channels; they have gone to community and whatever family they were able to contact. There aren’t many other options they see as viable, except for self-defense. The abuser is now gone, and the abused has been arrested. During the trial (as well as by the press), the abused is asked why they have not gone through ‘legal channels’ to address the abuse.

If you are reading this and empathize (or at the very least sympathize) with the abused; if you have marched in the streets chanting ‘Black Lives Matter’ in response to state violence upon African people; if you’ve ever participated in a campaign to ‘Free Nelson Mandela!’ and cried of joy upon his release from prison; if you’ve ever lamented gender-based violence and supported a ‘Me Too’ movement (whether it was the OG movement started by Tarana Burke or the one appropriated by Hollywood years later); if you’ve ever claimed to have supported the ‘civil rights’ movement (including ‘marching with Martin Luther King’)…

If you have petitioned for people like Florida governor Ron DeSantis to be impeached, yet are silent on the appointment of Avi Maoz to the Education Department, then you must examine your contradictions. If you claim to have supported all of these social justice movements and yet currently disagree with the fight for Palestinian people’s self-determination by any means necessary, then you must ask yourself if you actually support social justice movements, or a certain, hygienic perception of it.

People to this day will honor what is called the ‘American Revolution’; the armed revolt against the British, and the establishment of ‘America’, on what we call the 4th of the Lie… all while calling armed struggle against western imperialist forces ‘animalistic’ or ‘barbaric.’ If you in any way, shape or form stated you’ve lent support to any sort of social justice movement waged by oppressed peoples, ask yourself if you merely support the end result of the small victories, or the again, armed struggle waged against the forces which created those conditions which prompted that armed struggle. If you have cookouts on July 4th, do you think about the violent displacement of indigenous folks, and forced labor of African people, both of which contributed to the foundation of the establishment of what you call ‘the U.S.?’ Or is it just a ‘day off’?

It’s clear that celebrities such as Mark Hamill or the executive branch of the U.S. don’t, as they make comments commemorating Indigenous People’s Day, while simultaneously supporting or are silent about the genocide and outright settler colonialism upon Palestinians.

When you say you support social justice movements, do you also support the slave revolts in Haiti, Cuba and beyond, where enslavers were murdered? Do you agree with the status quo perspective of those respective times, that the ANC, the Black Panther Party For Self Defense, The American Indian Movement, The Deacons For Defense and other organized formations were ‘terrorists’ due to their waging of armed struggle?

Is your support for social justice conditional? This question is addressed succinctly by Nidal Khalaf:

“You may wonder why none of these groups ever supported our armed resistance. You may wonder why they feel entitled to justify their stance on today’s events by starting with a disclaimer regarding “condemning ALL violence,” and then moving on towards crying over our dead bodies and asking for “international law” to be applied. The same “law” that fortified our genocide and accepted our murderers as a “nation.”

The real answer to this phenomenon lies in the core of the solidarity adopted by these groups and individuals. For them, being pro-Palestine is a moral exercise, where they can vent the excess luxury derived from their superior human system of values on an endangered species called the “Palestinians.”

For this reason, we HAVE to be victims so that their moral scheme can be applied. But if we fight back; if we kill our oppressors; if we develop a miraculous armed resistance from within an international and regional siege, their whole moral world collapses. Instantaneously, we transform into inhumane fanatical terrorists who impose an equal violence to settler colonialism. One can ask: but how can this shift in mindset occur so quickly? Easy. Because the moment we disturb the status quo of hegemony, we target the main source of identity for those identifying within the Western scheme of values. 

If you claim to support Palestine while re-defining the political context of the struggle to fit the narrative that suits your Western “values,” you are contributing to the hijacking of Palestinian voices, narratives, and the real meaning of solidarity. If you claim to support Palestinians, while shying away from supporting our resistance groups, then you are another manifestation of Western hegemony. A hegemony that extends beyond military occupation and economic war, towards moral subjection (domination). This moral subjection is a cruel aspect of colonial violence, one where the oppressed is forced to re-identify themselves from the moral compass of the oppressor.

In short, if you support us as corpses, but not as freedom fighters…”

In line with this, in response to the silence of feminists in Israel, Nadera Shalhoub-Kevorkian produced a paper in 2014 called Palestinian Feminist Critique and the Physics of Power: Feminists Between Thought and Practice:

“To understand the physics of power means to understand the matrix of geopolitical and biopolitical power, in order to highlight the protection provided to the ideologies and strategies of domination and control deployed by the powerful. To comprehend this physics, one must first understand its workings, and its strategies of protecting and ensuring the survival of a certain power. Understanding this physics also entails a deep, wide-ranging understanding of the immoral position taken by the greater part of Israeli feminist analysis, which does not address Zionist settler colonialism prior to, during and after the Nakba, despite its role in violating the rights of Palestinians in general and of Palestinian women in the Jewish state and in dispersing their people throughout the world. On the contrary, in many cases Israeli feminists have supported these violations, or at best remained silent about them. The majority of Israeli feminists have produced feminist knowledge that embarks on feminist action that contemplates Palestinian suffering only since the second occupation of 1967, i.e. the occupation of the East Jerusalem, West Bank and Gaza Strip.  Some Israeli feminists did not even take this military occupation into consideration.   For most Israeli feminists, crimes against humanity conducted during the Nakba period and afterward, the displacement, dispossession and dispersion, and the state’s crimes against Palestinians, are simply discounted.

Constructing a feminist epistemology and praxis requires developing a new awareness of the physics of power. It entails understanding the nature and significance of solidarity with the dispossessed, something that global feminism, international law, and Israeli feminism have so far failed to do… Israeli feminists live a life of relative ease at the expense of Palestinian suffering, which they look through without making any concrete political intervention. They do not see (or perhaps they pretend not to notice) the repercussions of the events of the Nakba as a central issue for feminist action and theorizing. Their refusal to acknowledge the effects of incessant violence/oppression and the daily practices of resistance employed by the Palestinian woman, on whom the global and local (including the “feminist”) physics of power has imposed itself, is immoral and, crucially, not feminist. I would argue that one can’t define her/himself as a feminist while turning an entire nation, and an ongoing injustice and inhumanity, into ‘Present Absentees’.”

People in this day and age love to tout Nelson Mandela as being ‘a man of peace’, isolating their idealization of him from the reality that even as President of the ANC he advocated for waging armed struggle against oppressors. Understanding his position as an anti-imperialist one, in 1990 he said, “If one has to refer to any of the parties as a terrorist state, one might refer to the Israeli government, because they are the people who are slaughtering defenseless and innocent Arabs in the occupied [Palestinian] territories, and we don’t regard that as acceptable.” In 1997 he also said, “The temptation in our situation is to speak in muffled tones about an issue such as the right of the people of Palestine…we can easily be enticed to read reconciliation and fairness as meaning parity between justice and injustice. Having achieved our own freedom, we can fall into the trap of washing our hands of difficulties that others faces…yet we would be less than human if we did so…it behooves all South Africans, themselves erstwhile beneficiaries of generous international support, to stand up and be counted among those contributing actively to the cause of freedom and justice…”

Nelson Mandela was removed from the U.S. terrorist watch list in 2008.

“The inhumanity that won’t let ambulances reach the injured, farmers tend their land or children attend school… This treatment is familiar to me and the many Black South Africans who were corralled and harassed by the security forces of the apartheid government.”

– Desmond Tutu

“Israel always victimizes itself and I have never seen a victim putting its oppressor under siege and bombing them 24/7.”

– Bassem Youssef

The National Liberation Front, at the time when the people were undergoing the most massive assaults of colonialism, did not hesitate to prohibit certain forms of action and constantly to remind the fighting units of the international laws of war. In a war of liberation, the colonized people must win, but they must do so cleanly, without “barbarity.” The European nation that practices torture is a blighted nation, unfaithful to its history. The underdeveloped nation that practices torture thereby confirms its nature, plays the role of an undeveloped people. If it does not wish to be morally condemned by the “Western nations,” an underdeveloped nation is obliged to practice fair play, even while its adversary ventures, with a clear conscience, into the unlimited exploration of new means of terror.

An underdeveloped people must prove, by its fighting power, its ability to set itself up as a nation, and by the purity of every one of its acts, that it is, even to the smallest detail, the most lucid, the most self-controlled people. But this is all very difficult.

-Frantz Fanon, A Dying Colonialism

Nonviolence is not defined by non-action, just as peace is not the absence of war. We must never observe peace through the lens of our own comfort. We must never understand peace to be the absence of war as we are conditioned to perceive it, for as long as a hierarchical structure of oppressor and oppressed exists there will never be peace. In this case we must never observe war as simply being between two (or more) equal parties, as this hierarchical structure is always going to ensure there is a war ‘on’ or ‘against’ those who are oppressed.

i am always reminded of when i lived across the hall in a large house, from a man who was abusing his partner. While this abuser was seen as a problem by the owner of the house primarily due to economic issues; i was the only one confronting him about his actions, as other men in the house said to me that what he did was none of their business, because he was not physically beating her. It got to the point where i ended up moving, because i was being threatened with violence from this person. The response to my moving was essentially a shoulder shrug. i did find out after running into the woman in a store many months later that she finally left her abuser; while i was incredibly happy for her (amid thinking about my own experiences in abusive relationships), it was always impossible to ignore how the intersections of class, race and gender (merging with the reactionary, carceral environment of the U.S. in particular) shape societal concepts of violence.

Partner or gender-based violence is not usually seen as violence until there is physical evidence of it. Sanctions and blockades (‘economic warfare’ in short) work in similar ways- sanctions exist even in the U.S. but they are not seen as such because they are ‘hidden in plain sight’ with food deserts and educational and housing inequities. Globally, what the U.S. supports and enacts are sanctions, as well as “unilateral coercive measures (UCMs), which violate international law because they operate outside the structure provided by the United Nations. Legal sanctions are used as a punishment after a legal process determines a country violated a law. Unilateral coercive measures are imposed by the US and its western imperialist allies based on lies and without due process in order to effect a desired political outcome, such as regime change or retaliation.”

Sanctions are seen and encouraged as a means of retaliation against an enemy (usually of the west); the effects of the ‘unseen hand’ of the sanctions is where the violence lies.

Credit: Yuliy Ganf (Krokodil #4, February 1953)

“Could it be that reality is not so full of hate and incitement like they’re trying to sell us? Maybe, what is really happening doesn’t create enough views so we need to spice it up, make it more extreme, take it out of context? What do you want? A colorless news site that describes the colorless reality and that no one visits, or fake news filled with action, good guys and bad guys, shooting, and a Jewish state that in the end is always right and always victorious?”

-Assaf Harel

“American leadership is what holds the world together. American alliances are what keep us, America, safe. American values are what make us a partner other nations want to work with. To put all that at risk if we walk away from Ukraine, if we turn our backs on Israel, it’s just not worth it. That’s why tomorrow I’m going to send to Congress an urgent budget request to fund America’s national security needs, to support our critical partners, including Israel and Ukraine. It’s a smart investment that’s going pay dividends for American security for generations. Help us keep American troops out of harm’s way. Help us build a world that is safer, more peaceful, more prosperous for our children and grandchildren.”

-Joseph Biden, October 19, 2023

“The reactionaries only stay in power by arms. That is the only way they stay in power. But they legitimize their violence and they tell everybody else violence is not the way.

Guerilla warfare should never be discussed as to whether it’s right or wrong. It is the only way to stop exploitation and oppression. To carry on a discussion of whether it’s right or wrong is to play the game of the imperialists.”

-Kwame Ture

In what is one of the greatest examples of doublespeak and projection i have seen in the course of this constantly shifting news cycle, U.S. Secretary Of State Antony Blinken’s appearance on Face The Nation doesn’t do very well at an attempt to muster up notions of ‘manufacturing consent,’ to even the most trusting of media consumers. In Manufacturing Consent: The Political Economy Of The Mass Media, Edward S. Herman and Noam Chomsky define it as “…The media serv(ing), and propagandiz(ing) on behalf of, the powerful societal interests that control and finance them.”

On the question of a ceasefire with the cries of ‘Enough is enough!”, Blinken responds, “Enough is enough should have been the case with Hamas two weeks ago. It would be good to hear the entire world speaking clearly, and with one voice about the actions that Hamas took, about the slaughter of people, about the fact that that should be absolutely intolerable, unacceptable to anyone, anywhere. Any country, any people.”

Again, it is important to remember that what happened on October 7, 2023 did not start with October 7, 2023. What happened on this day was a response to decades of living under apartheid, and under occupation. It was a response of what has happened in the West Bank (where Hamas is not heavily populated, by the way), in Jenin, in Jerusalem, and beyond.

“Every life… Palestinian, Israeli, Jewish, Muslim, Arab; every life has equal worth. When I see the reports; when I see the photographs, when I hear the stories of young children, Palestinian children who have been killed or injured, it hits me right in the gut too, just as it does when I hear… when I see these other stories; wherever it is. We had here in our own country a little boy, six years old… who was viciously murdered, apparently because he was Palestinian-American. A little boy, six years old. Didn’t do anything to anyone. I feel that strongly across the board, no matter where it is. But this is on Hamas.”

While he blames Hamas for what happened to a six-year old boy on the other side of the world, he concedes that what he calls Hamas’ “aspiration” is “a legitimate aspiration for a state of their own.”

“The only way to defeat an ideology, no matter how warped… is to make sure there’s a better. clearer alternative for people. That alternative is very clear. And it’s very stark.” He addresses normalization and integration as being effective tools of “lift(ing) up the rights of the Palestinian people.” He states that Hamas’ vision is “death, destruction, nihilism, darkness…”

If the west is consistently providing economic and military assistance to their occupiers, why would the Palestinian people want an alternative that is dictated by the west? Also, how does one concede that the aspiration for an autonomous state is “legitimate,” yet also consider that aspiration to be one of “death, destruction, nihilism and darkness”? Blinken literally addressed what the solution is- the end of the occupation- however, he continues to blame Hamas for the material conditions of Palestinians. He blames Hamas for the murder of a child in another part of the world.

The Palestinian cause is not a cause for Palestinians only, but a cause for every revolutionary, wherever he is, as a cause of the exploited and oppressed masses in our era.

-Ghassan Kanafani

If “every life has equal worth,” how does one reckon with the collective punishment of the people of Gaza? At the time of this writing, over 7,000 people have died (or have been killed, half of them children) as a result of this onslaught. In no way is this onslaught proportional to the deaths that occurred in Israel, which Netanyahu and others compared to the deaths that occurred on September 11, 2001. i am sure it’s a possibility that among the people who died in Israel on October 7 there may have been some who protested the Netanyahu government at the time of their deaths. i’m sure there were all kinds of people, innocent people who do not represent the corrupt, right wing government of the place they reside; what we all know for sure is that Israel’s reaction to their deaths is disproportionate to the actual deaths. Because of this, he is being seen as a ‘liability’ by many in Israel.

This is the part that eventually broke me. My heart has been breaking since i made the decision to write this piece, as it always does in some way when writing about the damaging effects of capitalism and imperialism. Even as my heart was breaking it was the general anger towards those who aim to uphold the war machine that produced a certain stoicism, to allow me to stay afloat and keep writing. But that stoicism began to crack when i saw Joseph Biden and others suggest that the number of deaths of Palestinians at the hands of the Israeli government and military were overinflated, and that the Palestinian Health Ministry was a tool of Hamas. To add salt to the wound that hasn’t even had time to heal, Biden adds, “I’m sure innocents have been killed, and it’s the price of waging a war.”

As a response, the Health Ministry produced a report, listing the names of those who have been killed. Scrolling through this report, i cried for the first time since writing this piece.

If every life had equal worth to anyone standing with Israel, how does one defend depriving a population of two million people from having substantial access to fresh water, medicines, electricity and fuel? How does one rationalize slowly (and quickly) killing newborn babies, people in need of machines in order to breathe, and the many others in hospitals, then say, ‘Well, we asked you all, and gave you a bit of time to move out of the way?’ How does one defend the fact that in 2014 (the year of Operation Protective Edge), Gaza’s sole power plant at the time was also destroyed? This “complete siege” happened at the behest of Defense Minister Yoav Gallant, who said, “We are fighting human animals and we are acting accordingly.” Mordechai Kedar, researcher and political analyst, in an interview said, “I do not equate them with animals, because that is an insult to animals.” In a recent CNN interview with Jake Tapper, U.S. Senator Marco Rubio also uses language, advocating for genocide: “I don’t think there’s any way Israel can be expected to coexist or find some diplomatic off-ramp with these savages. These are people, as you’ve been reporting and others have seen, that deliberately targeted teenage girls, women, and children, and the elderly… Just horrifying things. And I don’t think we know the full extent of it yet. I mean, there’s more to come in the days and weeks ahead. You can’t coexist. They have to be eradicated.”

An even more stark reminder that the lives of Palestinians don’t matter is former Prime Minister Yair Lapid’s retelling of an experience where he met an elderly woman who said to him, “They killed my son, but at least I have cancer and I will die soon enough; I will not have to feel what I feel anymore.” Echoing the ‘unprovoked attack’ rationalization (under the pretense that those listening have not studied history, plus the tired defense of one of the most advanced militaries in the world needing to defend itself against an area they are occupying) he adds, “I want to remind you, the horrors of October the 7th has nothing to do with the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. The terrorists are not part of the struggle for a Palestinian state.” After comparing Hamas to ISIS and Al Quaida he says, “They want to kill Jews because they are Jews, and Christians because they are Christian, and moderate Muslims because they are moderate.” He naturally appeals to western chauvinism when he states Hamas had to kill festival goers in order to squelch anyone else’s appreciation for music. “Hamas don’t like music; They only love death and bloodshed.”

Lapid then had the audacity to lament that the world has moved on from supporting Israel. “Israel was given barely a week of sympathy and global shock. And then the world went back to attacking us for defending ourselves.” In terms of addressing media coverage. he encourages what he sees as the more ‘balanced’ “story told by a democratic country that is trying to protect life, and the story told by a murderous terror organization that hates life.”

No life has worth to someone whose primary interests are expansion and political control.

Statement from the No Tech For Apartheid campaign; not much has changed since this statement.

“…If you look at our life from a bird’s eye view, we’re doing pretty great. Really. Great weather, great food, great people, great beaches; it’s not so bad here in general. And that’s exactly the point, that we’re doing great, but there are a couple of million people that we’re responsible for, and they’re in a horrible state- Infrastructure, food, healthcare, education. Millions who are living in abject poverty. Gaza is on the verge of plague, hours on end without electricity or water. Israel controls everything that goes in or out… ‘But they chose Hamas, let them pay for it.’ ‘Humaneness? What does that have to do with us?’ ‘What are we, Arab lovers?’

Ever since the right wing took power, more and more voices are warning of apartheid. Are you kidding? Apartheid has been here for ages. Ages! It’s just that we’re on its good side, so it doesn’t really bother us. We’ve been abusing the Palestinians on a daily basis for years, denying them their basic rights, in Judea and Samaria, we’re taking their lands from them. Once, we used the Jewish National Fund to raise money to buy the lands. Today? We just pass a law saying we can just take their lands and that’s it. Soldiers shoot at stone-throwers because they’re a real threat, but if in Israel someone throws stones they won’t even be charged. Palestinian journalists are put on administrative detention without trial, because they wrote something. Every time we have a holiday they’re under closure, God forbid they ruin it for us. For years we’ve been deepening the hatred, the same hatred that we later complain about in peace talks: ‘Why do you incite your children against us?’ ‘Why don’t you teach them to love us?’

Israel’s most impressive innovation, more than any high-tech project or Rafael weapon, is our amazing ability to ignore what is happening mere kilometers away to our neighbors. A whole people, transparent. like it doesn’t exist. Not in the news, not online, not on social media; and definitely not in the hearts of the people.”

-Assaf Harel

While there are some, i have seen very few publicly wallow in ecstasy at the thought or sight of dead Israelis; in stark contrast i have seen many more staunch Zionists and supporters of Israel refuse to solemnly think about the actions of the place they are supporting, as the numbers of unarmed Palestinians are piling up in droves. Some are even making videos parodying the killings and blockades. As messages come in from the mainstream (and even some alternative liberal and conservative circles) in regards to ‘praying for Israel/Jews’; that same humanity is not afforded to Palestinians, whether they be Christian, Muslim, Arab or African. It is so much that the deep alliance with Zionism has people posting on social media, with no context beyond the headlines, or their emotions. Individuals such as Jamie Lee Curtis and Justin Bieber have lamented the conditions of people in Israel with accompanying photos, only to remove the posts when many pointed out they unknowingly posted pictures of people living under terror in Gaza. It’s what has Amy Schumer reposting a multi-tiered misappropriation of the ‘First They Came…’ poem by Martin Niemöller, stating that as a Jew she is now standing alone in her support for Israel… which makes no sense, given that the west is literally pouring billions into assistance, and people are getting fired from jobs for opposing the violence leashed onto the people of Gaza and the West Bank. None of these people see the humanity of Palestinian people.

While it is true that no groups of people are a monolith; the fact that it is expected in wholesale ways for anyone (in particular) among the populations of people who have lived and are living under colonization; anyone who has experienced war crimes at the hand of western imperialism, anyone who is Muslim, anyone who is Arab and/or African, and anyone who has taken on a keen study of what is happening to Palestinian people to denounce the armed struggle of people who have been under occupation for decades is nothing short of disingenuous.

The fact that (some) Palestinians feel they need to over-explain their position (and appeal to morality, showing they are not like ‘those people’) just to justify their humanity; the fact that people who literally have had family displaced and murdered by the Israeli Defense Force are asked to ‘Denounce Hamas’ as an opening question, while no one acting on behalf of Israel’s interests is ever called to task about the IDF’s actions show how deep the dehumanization of Palestinian people still is.

“At least 99% of the evil shit they do to you is not because they don’t think you’re human, it’s because they know that you are… Their brutality is generally not a function of their belief in your inhumanity; it is a function their absolute certainty of your humanity.”

-Fred Moten

He who is reluctant to recognize me opposes me.

-Frantz Fanon

The fact that people increasingly are being arrested and losing jobs and prospects due to standing in solidarity with Palestinian liberation (with CEOs calling for a blacklist… which has already been happening) proves how the marriage of capitalism and imperialism is the daily specter that haunts all of our lives. Most famously, people who were recently forced to resign or were fired are Marc Lamont Hill, Paddy Cosgrave (CEO of Web Summit), pianist Fazil Say, and Maha Dakhil of Creative Artists Agency (CAA). On the other end, there are people such as Josh Paul (who was the U.S. State Department Director) who are resigning not by force, but in response to the transfer of weapons to Israel being “shortsighted, destructive, unjust, and contradictory to the very values that we publicly espouse.” Even though Paul was one of the few who have been public, he is not the only one who objects to unilateral support for Israel. Another example is named in the book Erasing Palestine: Free Speech And Palestinian Freedom, where Rebecca Ruth Gould describes the 2021 firing of David Miller by the University Of Bristol: “The firing of David Miller was unusual in that the statements that led to Miller’s termination were made outside a university venue and during a non-work-related online meeting. Another unprecedented detail of Miller’s case is that the university terminated his employment even before he had exercised his tight to appeal the decision. The university was either already certain of what the outcome of the appeal would be, or was pressured by external parties to act quickly.”

This has also reached the literary world, where 92NY has decided to postpone their 2023-2024 reading series, due to there being a number of walkouts and resignations in response to the cancellation of an event featuring Viet Thanh Nguyen, a few hours prior to the event’s start. Nguyen’s event was canceled because he signed an open letter (a letter in which a couple of people i’ve actually either met or have personally known have signed as well) in response to the “indiscriminate violence that is still escalating against the 2.3 million Palestinians in Gaza.” In a social media post, Nguyen (who is Vietnamese, a country still reeling from the effects of western imperialism) confirmed his unwavering support for the BDS movement, adding, “The weight of the West- that is, the still beating heart of colonial and global empire- is with Israel. For any of us opposed to that injustice, we should see that Western support of Israel is not innocent. Especially when Israeli leaders turn to the rhetoric of colonial genocide: Palestinians as ‘human animals,’ Israel waging a war of the civilized against the uncivilized.”

Ultimately, this all proves that McCarthyism never left. If one were to truly live in a democracy, mass protest against a government’s economic and logistical support of an apartheid state would not be banned or targeted. If one were to truly live in a democracy, there would not be the existence of anti-BDS (Boycott/Divestment/Sanctions) legislation. It is important to note that organizations and lobby groups such as The American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) contribute to the construction of and adherence to such policies via campaign contributions and fundraising, and that politicians and Congress members such as Ritchie Torres are propped up as faces of ‘diversity’ on Zionist interests. Torres, by the way, opined that antizionist organizations such as Jewish Voices For Peace and Jews For Racial And Economic Justice “exemplify deceptive advertising,” purposefully conflating Judaism with Zionism.

“The irony about presenting any criticism of Israel as antisemitic is that that in itself is an antisemitic trope; because antisemites are the people who like to conflate being Jewish with being a Zionist. They like to conflate Jewish identity with a particular political view. They present Jews as one monolith, with no diversity of opinion, who all support Israel with a blind fervor. That’s simply not true, and in fact, antisemites like to use the word ‘Zionist’ as a shorthand for ‘Jew’; so you have antisemites in the ADL (Anti-Defamation League) and AIPAC, basically trafficking in the same antisemitic tropes, which should be worrying to anyone who cares about antisemitism.”

-Katie Halper

“As a Jewish person, you are saddled with the idea that you are not a citizen of America or a citizen of the world; you are a citizen of Israel. And you must back their actions… and one has nothing to do with the other. And one has nothing to do with being Jewish or not being Jewish or whatever it is that people choose on their religion or on their history or on their background… What has happened in that part of the world is tragic, and unfortunately I think the biggest problem is it’s to nobody’s benefit but the Palestinian people that it get resolved. It’s not to the benefit of the Israeli government; they use the Palestinian issue as a cudgel.”

-Jon Stewart

Given that original ties to Zionism were linked more with nationalism than a strict religious affinity or identity; the fact that the strongest proponents of Zionism (many who have no familial or spiritual ties to Judaism) have no problem with labeling other Jews ‘antisemitic’ or ‘fake Jews’ should not be surprising. While the program generally seemed to be critical of right wing politics in Israel, holding particular ire for (past and present… and present again) Prime Ministers Benjamin Netanyahu and Naftali Bennett; In 2017, Assaf Harel’s closing monologue for the final episode of his program Layla Tov (or Good Night) addressed this particular issue. “But there are a few righteous in Sodom, people who see the Matrix and are trying to yell, to let us know what’s happening; maybe we’ll wake up. Breaking The Silence, B’Tselem, Yesh Din… Dozens of organizations that are only trying to tell Israeli society what is happening; and what do people say about them in return? Extremist left. Illegitimate organizations. Now, understand: anyone who says ‘extremist left’ is trying to create an equivocation with the extreme right. And this way the delegitimization of murderers like Baruch Goldstein or the murderers of the Dawabshe family will stick to organizations like Breaking The Silence or B’Tselem, ‘Because we must condemn the extremists on both sides, right?’ But they’re forgetting one small detail. On one side the extremists kill, and on the other side the ‘extremists’ talk. On one side the extremists burn people alive, and on the other side the extremists demand human rights.”

In terms of the land question, the project of Israel from a geopolitical standpoint is ultimately an anti-Jewish/antisemitic project. It was a piece of the imperialism puzzle which made all attempts to respond to ‘the Jewish question’. It was an easy way to feign apologetics for either advocating for, or remaining silent for displacement of a people, while simultaneously placing them in an area which could still be remotely controlled. It was a matter of throwing rocks while hiding hands. A Jewish person (particularly someone of European descent) calling to task the brutal actions of a racist, apartheid state is the farthest thing from ‘self-hating’ or ‘antisemitic’.

It’s humane.

The Palestine-Germany Transfer Agreement, and Nazi/Zionist flag collaboration (Jewish Telegraphic Agency, January 2, 1936): ‘The Nazi authorities today decreed that the Zionist blue-white banner is the official Jewish flag and may be displayed under protection of the police throughout Germany.’

Whether it’s Jews For Justice For Palestinians, N’amod, B’Tselem, If Not Now, Breaking The Silence (which in 2018 was banned in schools), Noam Chomsky, Judith Butler, Uri Avnery (who wrote that the government towards the end of his life in Israel and “(t)he discrimination against the Palestinians in practically all spheres of life can be compared to the treatment of the Jews in the first phase of Nazi Germany”), Israel Frey (a Jewish Orthodox journalist who was targeted simply for saying a Mourner’s Kaddish for all who perished, including Palestinians), Rabbi Brant Rosen, Ellen Brotsky and Ariel Koren, Michael Eisen (a biologist who was recently fired from his job), the people in Israel who have been protesting the settlements, Amira Hass, Uri Horesh (a professor at Achva College who was suspended), Gabor Maté, Mike Marqusee, and the many others i have not named- most whom i don’t personally know, and a few i do; their critiques and active resistance are counter to the myopic nationalism of Zionist thought. The act of indiscriminately carpet bombing a whole area (and depriving a mass of people of basic necessities) is going to eventually reach the people you are claiming to protect. Noy Katsman, whose brother was Hayim (who was killed on the 7th of October), seems to agree. “…(W)hat Israel is doing now is very clearly not in the — it’s not for the security of anyone, not to people in Israel, not to people of Gaza.”

Are young people living in Israel who are conscientious objectors antisemitic? Here are the voices of these young people, which you can find here, here and here):

“I and other youths realized that the dictatorship that exists in Israel and the dictatorship that has existed for decades in the occupied territories are inseparable. The great goal of the politicians and the settlers is to deepen the occupation and the oppression of more populations inside Israel and in the occupied territories, and to annex Area C of the West Bank.”

“Opposition to the occupation is incomplete without opposition to the legal reform, and vice versa. The people promoting the reform — Simcha Rothman, Itamar Ben Gvir, Bezalel Smotrich, are settlers. Their agenda is a settler agenda, of expanding the occupation, ethnic cleansing, and expulsions. The reform is intended to clear Area C of Palestinians, to legalize new outposts, and to grant even more privileges, enshrined in law, to settlements and settlers.”

“I am not ready to be part of the violent arm of the state, which is used to oppress people. I am not ready to be the person who oppresses Palestinians in the occupied territories, nor to be the one who oppresses Jewish and Palestinian people in demonstrations in Israel. I know there has never been a democracy or equal rights here, and I am not ready to serve a country that is fundamentally unequal.”

“…I will not agree to enlist in this army. It is an army that is occupying the West Bank and millions of Palestinians, and an army of an extreme right-wing government that is trying to bring the dictatorship from the occupied territories into Israel.”

“I oppose class separation between Jews and Palestinians. I see how the powerful and the wealthy profit from war crimes and the suffering and death that both Palestinians and we experience.”

If Zionism is attempting to enforce a particular definition of what Jewish solidarity and life entail, then Israel by its own admission is not a democracy- and of course, it’s a given that as an apartheid state, it can never be a democracy. While those who critique Israel’s policies and actions are deemed ‘antisemitic’- whether Jewish or not; Benjamin Netanyahu has no problem meeting with actual antisemites, as long as they seemingly show uncritical support for Israel. Prime Minister of Hungary Viktor Orbán has been pretty consistent on openly touting Jewish conspiracy and anti race-mixing sentiments, and ‘ol BiBi has been quite friendly with him. Then there’s this: “We reject the actions aimed at blaming Poland or the Polish nation as a whole for the atrocities committed by the Nazis and their collaborators of different nations.” There was also the time he ‘absolved’ Hitler /the Nazi Party from bearing full responsibility of the genocides which occurred in Germany. What is happening is not only anti-Jewish AND antisemitic, it is antihuman.

Netanyahu (who like Donald Trump has been involved in corruption-related cases) and his ilk (which includes his son Yair) are the European Jewish version of ‘all skin folk ain’t kin folk’.

From The Movement, September 1967

“We support the Palestinians’ just struggle for liberation one hundred percent. We will go on doing this, and we would like for all of the progressive people of the world to join our ranks in order to make a world in which all people can live.”

-Huey Newton

“…South Africa and Palestine land some 3500 miles apart, but each the concern of the same imperialist interests – each sacrificed in the name of western peoples and British Empire building.”

-Shirley Graham DuBois

The number one weapon of 20th century imperialism is Zionist dollarism, and one of the main bases for this weapon is Zionist Israel. The ever-scheming European imperialists wisely placed Israel where she could geographically divide the Arab world, infiltrate and sow the seed of dissension among African leaders and also divide the Africans against the Asians. 

Zionist Israel’s occupation of Arab Palestine has forced the Arab world to waste billions of precious dollars on armaments, making it impossible for these newly independent Arab nations to concentrate on strengthening the economies of their countries and elevate the living standard of their people…

And the continued low standard of living in the Arab world has been skillfully used by the Zionist propagandists to make it appear to the Africans that the Arab leaders are not intellectually or technically qualified to lift the living standard of their people … thus, indirectly inducing Africans to turn away from the Arabs and towards the Israelis for teachers and technical assistance…

Did the Zionists have the legal or moral right to invade Arab Palestine, uproot its Arab citizens from their homes and seize all Arab property for themselves just based on the “religious” claim that their forefathers lived there thousands of years ago? Only a thousand years ago the Moors lived in Spain. Would this give the Moors of today the legal and moral right to invade the Iberian Peninsula, drive out its Spanish citizens, and then set up a new Moroccan nation … where Spain used to be, as the European Zionists have done to our Arab brothers and sisters in Palestine?

-Malcolm X, The Egyptian Gazette (Sept. 17, 1964)

For those among us in the African diaspora who echo the sentiment that the Palestinian liberation struggle has nothing to do with us; it is crucial to remember that geopolitics does not happen in a vacuum. The struggles of African and Palestinian people are inextricably linked, and this has been so for a long time. From Angela Davis “receiv(ing) support from Palestinian political prisoners as well as from Israeli attorneys defending Palestinians” when she was imprisoned, to the relationship between the Panthers and the PLO, to the Africans in Michigan standing in solidarity with the Arab Workers’ Caucus in 1973, to Bassem Masri; there are plenty of examples which connect us.

As many have marched and protested in the streets and beyond, in response to the state-sanctioned murder of George Floyd in 2020, we must remember that the methods which killed him were taken from direct IDF tactics. The state-sanctioned murder of Africans are not isolated to the U.S.: it also happens in Israel. If you pay taxes, your taxes are being used as a means to commit ethnic cleansing, mass surveillance, geopolitical gentrification and state-sanctioned murder.

And of course, even as the government of Israel describes it as being a ‘homeland for Jews,’ the history of that relationship with African Jews is a troubled one, laced with questionable notions of desirability and purity. Even as Yosef I. Abramowitz laments about racism among (the majority European) Jewry, he is displaying an incredible disconnect between what is happening in Israel and what is happening to Africans globally, at the hands of the state: “These rallies by the Ethiopian community should be seen through the lens of hope and not despair; through the lens of Zionism and not Ferguson.”

A portion of FATAH’s message at the Pan-African Cultural Festival in Algiers (The Black Panther, October 11, 1969)

“How many times Israel have committed war crimes… live on your own cameras? Do you start by asking them to condemn themselves? Have you? You don’t… You know why I refuse to answer this question? Because I refuse the premise of it. Because at the very heart of it is misrepresentation of the whole thing. Because it’s the Palestinians that are always expected to condemn themselves.”

-Husam Zomlot, UK ambassador to Palestine

Since when does a militarily occupied people have the responsibility for a peace movement?

-Edward Said

Who planted terrorism in our area? Some came and took our land, forced us to leave, forced us to live in camps. I think this is terrorism. Using means to resist this terrorism and stop its effects – this is called struggle.

-Leila Khaled

On the question of Hamas (because i’m sure you are wondering), the emphasis on whether or not people ‘condemn’ them ultimately removes, again, the humanity and political will of the masses of Palestinian people. They are always addressed as a dichotomy when their existence (like much of everything else) should be addressed in a dialectical way. The framing of ‘Israel v. Hamas’ in debates, discussions and news reports is akin to arguing over which sports team is better. One of the best examples of this comes from war criminal George W. Bush himself: “My view is, one side is guilty, and it’s not Israel.”

Interview after interview (and in places such as the London Review Of Books open letter), you see people condemn Hamas to varying degrees. If you add amid that condemnation that Israel’s response to what happened is disproportionate; if you so much as advocate for a ceasefire, you are still seen as siding with Hamas- not the people of Palestine. Even if one were to do as the west, its allies and their propaganda wings wished; you could critique and disavow Hamas all day- but this really isn’t the point. If your condemnations are not laced with an unwavering support for Israel and its geopolitical ambitions, nothing you do will be right to them. Aiming to appeal to a ‘both sides’ or ‘condemnation’ framework is a waste of time… Because the use of ‘Hamas’ is being weaponized as a vehicle to destroy Gaza, and by extension, all of Palestine outright.

Of course, UN Secretary General António Guterres is not immune, despite his message being far from radical- He, like many, have ‘condemned Hamas.’ However, because he addressed war crimes, Israel’s immediate reaction was to revoke visas for UN officials, to “teach them a lesson.” Collective punishment apparently exists for all, if they decide it applies to you.

While Benjamin Netanyahu claims that Hamas and Hezbollah’s “goal, open goal, is to eradicate the state of Israel. The open goal of Hamas is to kill as many Jews as they could,” the IDF is doing just that to Palestinians, regardless of spiritual practice. Yoav Gallant’s order of a complete siege is doing just that. In 2021, former Prime Minister Naftali Bennett emphatically stated, “As long as I have any power and control, I won’t hand over one centimeter of land of the Land of Israel. Period.” This of course adds to something similar that Netanyahu said: “At this time we need to control all of the territory for the foreseeable future.”

This is what i do condemn: The conditions that were created in order for the events of October 7th, 2023 to materialize.

Ultimately, the voices of the masses of Palestinians- the ones who are actually UNDER OCCUPATION- are the most essential in this conversation, in regard to ANY formation of resistance, be it Hamas, or anyone else. Anyone living thousands of (or even five) miles away, dictating how people under occupation should respond to their conditions is nothing short of arrogant.

The word ‘Hamas’ is used in generalities and as one unit (because again, it’s used as a means to weaponize fear and support for military onslaught and ethnic cleansing of a whole people), despite them actually talking specifically about its armed wing, Izz al-Din al-Qassam Brigades (IQB). Hamas, like many organizations does have a history of doing community and charity work as they have a social branch, as well as a political and military one. In the midst of this constant news cycle i have heard people (allegedly) use Hamas and Islamic Jihad (PIJ) interchangeably as well. While both did come up in the ranks of the Muslim Brotherhood, they are literally two different formations. i don’t think this matters to the folks writing the scripts, because the conflation is a means of dehumanization and ‘manufactured consent’.

Hamas’ role in the ‘terrorism’ chain is not unlike what we’ve seen in other places around the world: an imperialist or colonialist force provides economic assistance and/or military intelligence as a means to counter an opposing left wing/Marxist/socialist/anti-imperialist formation. Examples of this would be Operation Cyclone (where the U.S. and the British assisted the Mujahadeen in fighting the Soviets); as well as Ronald Reagan signing into law an act for the approval of $100 million in aid to the Contras in Nicaragua, in order to destabilize the Sandinista government, some of which is described in Democracy by Force: US Intervention In The Post-Cold War World by Karin Von Hippel:

“Meanwhile, the United States had been covertly propping up Noriega’s regime. The US government had initiated with Noriega as far back as the 1950s, when he was a cadet a the Peruvian Military Academy, as part of a campaign to recruit candidates to help counter the growing communist threat. Noriega was hand-picked by US intelligence agents, who were well aware of his dubious reputation. US agents trained him in intelligence gathering and guerilla warfare, and warned him on occasion of impending threats to Panama.

Reagan continued to support Noriega- despite receiving evidence that he rigged the 1984 elections, and was involved in illegal arms trading and drug trafficking. Noriega generously returned the favor: he assisted Reagan in his war against the Sandinista regime in Nicaragua, provided security for US bases, permitted military operations in Panama that exceeded the mandate of the original canal treaty, and ironically, supplied the US Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) with information. Frederick Kempe emphasised that Noriega’s assistance to the DEA ‘had DEA agents working in Panama impeding the work of DEA’s Miami officials.’ Throughout this period, there was no substantial support for or interest in democratisation in Panama.”

Israel’s support of Hamas worked in similar ways. In 2019, Netanyahu reportedly said at a Likud Party meeting, “Anyone who wants to thwart the establishment of a Palestinian state has to support bolstering Hamas and transferring money to Hamas. This is part of our strategy — to isolate the Palestinians in Gaza from the Palestinians in the West Bank.” Retired religious affairs official Avner Cohen said in 2009, “Hamas, to my great regret, is Israel’s creation.” “The Israeli government gave me a budget and the military government gives to the mosques,” said Brigadier General Yitzhak Segev, as a means to destabilize any influence from any Communist factions and Fatah, a more secular party under the Palestine Liberation Organization (PLO).

There isn’t a true discussion about what Hamas’ role is in the resistance movement against Israel’s occupation- because ultimately, that is what it is. They are only a portion of the mass resistance. We could discuss their contradictions all day; but this tends to be the focus, as opposed to, again, their role in the resistance against occupation, thus again, totally omitting and dehumanizing the mass struggle of a people under occupation. That said, the IQB is the strongest armed force the people of Gaza have right now, and it has been interesting to see interviews with people who were captured and released. The primarily U.S. and U.K.-English-speaking sources were speaking consistently of torture and death, while all of the Israeli media i’ve seen portrays the resistance in a much more ‘humanistic’ light, to their consternation. There’s the story of the person who wanted a banana; Yocheved Lifshitz (another hostage who was released, along with Nurit Cooper), mentioned that she and the other hostages were treated well. “There are women who know what feminine hygiene means, they made sure we had everything, that the toilets were cleaned. They cleaned it, not us… They were very gracious, this must be said. They kept us clean, kept us fed.” When she was released, she shook the hand of a Hamas member and wished them peace. A long time peace activist (and member of Women Wage Peace (who also produced a message calling for a ceasefire)), she has been quite critical of the Israeli government and the IDF in interviews as well. To the point of U.S. media’s sensationalizing of events, here is a perfect example of how this is done, versus the matter-of-fact reporting of even Israeli media covering this story.

What is being focused on in western/imperialist media is her retelling (mostly through the translation of her daughter) of being beaten by sticks on the back of a motorcycle through plowed fields en route to Gaza (prior to meeting the people who ‘treated (her) well’), by what sounds from my ears to be interpreted as ‘Shabaab people.’ This is the part which confused me (and something i would need some more interpretation on), as Al-Shabaab exists in Somalia, and as far as i know has no involvement in Gaza. She also described how there were masses of people who were able to penetrate the expensive fences that were supposed to ‘protect the people’.

Ms. Lifshitz’s husband, Oded, who spent much of his life as a journalist and Palestinian rights activist (who did an expose on the forced expulsion of Bedouin people), was also a hostage, and was not let go at the same time as his wife. Another person, Yasmin Porat, while she called them “terrorists,” still maintained that she and the others who were held were treated “very humanely… no one behaved towards us violently.” She added that it was Israeli forces who actually shot hostages in the line of fire.

Yasmin Porat’s comment is interesting, in light of a Times Of Israel piece which highlights the response to Ms. Lifshitz’ interview, which is being looked at as a PR disaster that favors Hamas: “What a brave and enlightened woman, the kind we thought they no longer make in Israel, and what clumsy handling of the event.” The fact that there is more concern about image and PR than the safety of hostages is telling.

The reason i’ve been thinking about the response of the hostages though, is because it reminds me of numbers 3 and 11 of the Rules Of Discipline specifically, as expressed in the Handbook Of Revolutionary Warfare by Kwame Nkrumah: ‘Turn in anything captured’, and ‘Do not ill-treat captives’. This shouldn’t have to be reiterated; however, since this is a long piece, i will: While there are people who needlessly see Jewish people as a monolith and claim to hate them all; the primary objective of what is happening has nothing to do with ‘hating Jewish people,’ no matter how badly Netanyahu and other messianic Zionists want it to be.

“Our federal taxes contribute $3 billion yearly in military and economic aid to Israel. Over $200 million of that money is spent fighting the uprising of Palestinian people who are trying to end the military occupation of their homeland. Israeli solders fire tear gas canisters made in america into Palestinian homes and hospitals, killing babies, the sick, and the elderly…Encouraging your congresspeople to press for a peaceful solution in the Middle East, and for recognition of the rights of the Palestinian people, is not altruism, it is survival. ”

-Audre Lorde

“And equally, i think the people all around the Middle East, including in Jordan; we are just shocked and disappointed by the world’s reaction to this catastrophe that is unfolding. In the last couple of weeks we have seen a glaring double standard in the world. When October 7th happened, the world immediately and unequivocally stood by Israel and its right to defend itself, and condemned the attacks that happened. But what we’re seeing the last couple of weeks, we’re seeing silence in the world. Countries have stopped just expressing concern, or acknowledging the casualties; but always with a preface of declaration of support for Israel. Are we being told that it is wrong to kill a family, an entire family at gunpoint, but it’s okay to shell them to death? There is a glaring double standard here, and it’s just shocking to the Arab world. This is the first time in modern history that there is such human suffering and the world is not even calling for a ceasefire! So the silence is deafening, and to many in our region, it makes the western world complicit… through their support and through the cover that they give Israel and its right to defend itself; many in the Arab world are looking at the western world as not just tolerating this, but aiding and abetting it… Most networks are covering the story under the title of ‘Israel At War’. But for many Palestinians on the other side of the separation wall, on the other side of the barbed wire; war has never left. This is a 75-year old story. A story of overwhelming death and displacement to the Palestinian people. It is the story of an occupation, under an apartheid regime that occupies land, that demolishes houses, confiscates land. Military incursions. Night raids. The context of a nuclear armed regional superpower that occupies, oppresses, and commits daily documented crimes against Palestinians is missing from the narrative.”

-Rania Al Abdullah

With such an extensive focus on ‘Hamas’, not one person (outside of more revolutionary circles) has acknowledged that the Al-Aqsa Flood Battle was the work of an alliance of various resistance groups. Not many have made mention of (or has spoken with) the Union Of Palestinian Women’s Committees (UPWC), the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP), or other formations and organizations led by the Palestinian masses. In a statement released by the PFLP on October 7, it read:

“Steadfast mountains from the ranks of the resistance have united in response to the call of Palestine, the call of Al-Quds and Al-Aqsa, during which the essence of the conflict is reclaimed and the honor of the Arab nation is restored. They are determined to achieve a strategic victory over this enemy in a battle that will open the door to return and redefine the history of Palestine and the region.”

While we struggle over ideas and have discussions in relation to what’s been happening (with the expectation that, of course, we resist using declarative statements and talking points with little knowledge of context); it is crucial to be aware of how language is utilized. There is indeed the not-so-veiled language of calling people ‘human animals’; but using the word ‘Hamas’ in and of itself is a dog whistle. The use of ‘killed’ vs. ‘dead’ is very similar to how ‘looting’ vs. ‘searching/finding’ had been used in 2005, during Hurricane Katrina. ‘Intervention’ vs. ‘Invasion’ also comes to mind.

While not exactly dog whistles in the traditional sense, fabrications have continued to be been weaponized, despite them being debunked. The most contentious example of a fabrication is the ’40 beheaded babies’ claim that has since been contested (due to there not being substantial evidence) and walked back. This claim is the ‘Nayirah testimony (aka ‘Incubator babies’ myth) of the day. That story was propped up by PR firm public relations firm Hill & Knowlton, who was representing Citizens for a Free Kuwait, in order to wage support for a U.S. invasion of Iraq. Nayirah was/is the daughter of Nasir al-Saud Al-Sabah, the Kuwaiti Ambassador to the U.S.

Another example of ‘atrocity propaganda’ is the IDF posting on social media that four armed ‘Hamas fighters’ had been caught and killed; however, Al Jazeera (and other keen eyes on social media) tracked certain “discrepancies and inconsistencies” which countered the IDF’s claim.

I have learned that a woman can be a fighter, a freedom fighter, a political activist, and that she can fall in love, and be loved, she can be married, have children, be a mother… Revolution must mean life also; every aspect of life.

-Leila Khaled

As we come to the conclusion of this post, i want to thank you for staying; i am aware and am empathetic to the fact that these times and the constantly developing information are difficult for many. This is one of the reasons i wanted to write- as an expression of my own feelings and frustration. However, even in these difficult times lies a glimmer of optimism for me; the masses of the world world are responding in a way that acknowledges the humanity of a people who have long been ignored, and continue to be occupied. This acknowledgement spans ethnicity, location, gender, orientation, ability or disability, and spiritual practice. As of this writing, i hope there were some questions answered for you, and definitely some questions asked. That said, i want to again address the notion of having an ‘apolitical’ or ‘centrist’ position (in general, but particularly on the issue spoken about in this piece).

Everything is political, as politics (in short) is defined as our relationship to power, whether individual or collective. If you have the ability to turn on a computerized device to read this post, there is a relationship to labor and land resources, and the contradictions that lie within that. If you did or did not watch a Netflix, Disney+, Apple, Warner Brothers, Paramount+ or Universal film or show during the SAG-AFTRA strikes, you have made a political decision regardless. People speak about the political themes within the Barbie and Oppenheimer films recently released (in the ways we are conditioned to address politics), but the paying to watch these two films which were funded by companies people were striking against is also a political decision. Whether or not you choose to ignore these things, it doesn’t alter its political relationship.

Whatever actions we take, it is taking a certain position.

Some of those political relationships are due to inevitable circumstances (such as, sharing communications about world events on a computer, or getting a job we may not necessarily align with). It should be obvious that what is being said here is not intended to demonize anyone who uses a laptop or has a Netflix account. We all have contradictions, based on the fact that we exist under capitalism. What we are intending to say is that it’s crucial we rethink our relationship to politics, because as the great Skunk Anansie song says, everything’s political. Politics is not simply about ‘voting’ or ‘when the government does stuff.’ It’s also about our response to, again, that relationship to power. In the book Politics For Social Workers Stephen Pimpare addresses the notion of an ‘apolitical’ position:

“In all kinds of contexts, people encourage us to keep politics out of things, as if politics exists in its own separate space and can be cordoned off, somehow making human relations easier to manage. But even when it is not an outright effort at shutting down dialogue and debate, this is a fool’s errand. Everything is political: politics is the way we make people aware of problems, introduce ideas into the public sphere, create frameworks for thinking about issues and their relative importance, structure debates about policy, frame defenses of justice and fairness and equity, and build consensus for change. Politics is how we improve the life of our clients, our families, our friends, and our communities; it is the “contest where some gain the authority to make decisions of fundamental significance for others.” Only if you don’t care who has that decision-making authority should you want to avoid politics.”

As we become more and more inundated with news both locally and internationally, it is crucial to remember that while some of us have the privilege to opt for ‘shutting everything off’, the rest of us cannot, as our mere existence is politicized, not by choice. The world does not stop, even if our worldview does.

If we say we stand for justice and peace, what do our actions entail? How many of us, as we take in the images and words of capitalist/western media, directly seek out the voices and perspectives of those who are marginalized, occupied and oppressed? How many of us do more in-depth research before we state a position? If we claim that education is a gateway to freedom (which honestly is a classist thing to say, let’s keep it real… but let’s still go with the question), how many of us are actually truly applying it? How many of us understand that taking no position on an issue is still taking a position?

If you are standing with ‘both sides’, that is, the occupier as well as the occupied; you have shown which side you actually stand on.

We will end with these words by the Palestinian Youth Movement: “Now and onwards, you must not allow your friends and comrades to turn their backs on the Palestinian liberation struggle. You must not allow them to falter in the face of the events of this week, or to devolve into insipid both-sideism or pragmatic armchair generalismo, or to publish cowardly denunciations that do nothing more than provide a left cover for an impending genocide on the people of Gaza. Most importantly, you must not allow them to lose sight of why the oppressed people resist; that it is not only understandable, not only an occupied people’s right, but also just and true.”

Think hard about which side you stand.

(For your consideration and further research, here is a resource list presented by the comrades at the Popular University Of The Palestinian Youth Movement (PYM): https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ol9GjNwTo99mPzXnRgL0ZLvs-fw0vc6MEPBJhuJHtbo/edit )

The Song That Saved My Life

(Note: This piece contains mentions of suicide and sexual assault)

“The role of the artist is exactly the same as the role of the lover. If I love you, I have to make you conscious of the things you don’t see.”

-James Baldwin

i think it was Jesse Michaels (of the band Operation Ivy) who said that “Music is an indirect force for change, because it provides an anchor against human tragedy.” i can never understand when someone creates or interprets music to be ‘simply for entertainment’, when music has always been a tool to communicate the will and desire of the masses. Music has also been a key of expression and connection for those who may otherwise struggle with their feelings. Music has been known to save lives.

At this time, it was a little song about a bullet that saved mine.

i have listened to ‘Just A Bullet Away’ by the band Metallica (a band i have written about plenty of times on other sites) on many an occasion with no problems. i actually have a tattoo inspired by the song. On this occasion though, i happened to listen to it at the moment intrusive thoughts were occurring. As it played i continually thought to myself, ‘if i had a gun right now, i would use it.’ i thought about what else i could use. i mean, there were a lot of things i have done and used in my life during previous attempts (which i will not name here). i didn’t even think to stop the song; in fact, i ended up additionally watching someone do a cover of it. In the middle of the video though, right before the song’s bridge flashed the number for the suicide prevention hotline. Despite me calling this number various times over the years; and despite these incessant thoughts, i didn’t even think to call.

All roads they lead to shame
All drowning in the blame

All hide beneath a skin
A hope so paper thin
I’m at the door again

Redemption purify
Will nothing satisfy
The scars just multiply

Eternal borderline
All the faces intertwine
Oh God… now I see mine
In the shine of the midnight revolver

Even the promise of danger has gone dull
Staring down the barrel of a .45

Do all reflections look the same
In the shine of the midnight revolver

Just a bullet away
Just a bullet away from leavin’ you
Just a bullet away
Stop the voices in my head

Whether metaphorical or literal, whether about struggling with addiction or actual incessant ideation; the song certainly reflected how i was feeling in the moment. i wanted the voices to cease.

Still, not thinking, i decided to also listen to another song, ‘Screaming Suicide’, and i began to cry deeply. About the song, James Hetfield (vocalist and rhythm guitarist) says, “The intention is to communicate about the darkness we feel inside. It’s ridiculous to think we should deny that we have these thoughts. At one point or another, I believe most people have thought about it. To face it is to speak the unspoken. If it’s a human experience, we should be able to talk about it. You are not alone.”

Then my voice appears
Teaching you of fears
Are you good enough?
You don’t recognize
Head is full of lies
You should just give up

Curse another day
Spirit locked away
Punish and deprive
Hate to be awake
Living a mistake
More dead than alive

i almost did give up.

Then a voice appears
Whisper in your ears
“You are good enough”
Throwing down a rope
A lifeline of hope
Never give you up

i have spoken its name many times. Still, i ask myself almost daily, ‘Am i really good enough?’ i have trouble believing i am. The first voice fights with the second voice constantly- and the first voice always seems to win.

i am taking a risk making a huge generalization here, but most people who experience ideation (whether minimally or incessantly) or opt to attempt and/or end their lives do not necessarily want to do it. It’s just that life has become so unbearable, and (i can only speak for myself here) for whatever reason there’s the constant thought that life would be better off without us.

But… as the song ended, and i sat there in tears, i made the decision at three am to phone the hotline.

Metallica (and by extension Alex Young) saved my life.

“…not many people have ever died of love. But multitudes have perished, and are perishing every hour…–for the lack of it.” 

-James Baldwin

What does Metallica (or ending one’s life) have to do with work or jobs?

Both my critical/analytical and creative brain are constantly going, which means that sometimes some of the most pronounced ideas or thoughts i have in terms of writing happen at the least opportune of times- on the toilet, in the shower or as i am trying to get to bed.  These thoughts also happen during the late nights and early mornings, while most are in bed. 

But again, what does any of this have to do with this blog? Because a brain that never stops and wants to create at seemingly inopportune hours isn’t beneficial for living under capitalism.  Because spending time on this earth sometimes feels like a job.  And it is tiring.

The work we do on ourselves is severely undervalued; the action to what is usually seen as ‘resolving’ depression is work, but acknowledging a struggle with depression or ideation (and acknowledging you need help) is work as well.

We are conditioned to observe this work as a hindrance to everyone else around us. People speak of suicide as ‘selfish’, because it’s assumed they did not think of the loved ones they left behind. It’s seen as a ‘permanent solution to a temporary problem.’

However, the jobs we do to keep afloat are rewarded when we appease the managers of society, who are being paid to do the bidding by their bosses- who profit off of the same constant struggles we are encouraged to sweep away. We are rewarded when we smile, and only smile.

Music can be used as a mirror to confront the ills of the status quo (as Michaels alluded to). It can also be that reward for the mirror we hold to ourselves. In many cases a response to someone’s trauma, sadness or depression is to immediately send a message to cheer them up. Many of us who receive these messages do not feel heard. The need to always avoid the subject and respond with extreme positivity can be invalidating. Even if that is not the intent, it feels as if our struggle is a burden to those we have confided in. i just told you i am experiencing self-doubt and depression, or was about to end my life, and the immediate response is to send a cat picture. Just a cat picture. Or a comedic sketch. Some people suggest happy music. And most people’s response (in my experience) is no response at all.

We want to know we are heard and feel supported. Sometimes, people listen to ‘sad’ music during these times, because the music says, ‘I see you, and I hear you.’

As a human species, community and connection are important. Therapists are also important and serve a purpose; but therapists exist in a lot of ways, because capitalism has ensured isolation. It has idealized depending on ‘the one’ to save you, whether that’s a therapist, a romantic partner, or a friend. It has romanticized nuclear family structures, as opposed to espousing the benefits of consensual non-traditional relationships and chosen families. Also, not everyone has the economic ability to obtain regular therapy. We go throughout our day, not necessarily recognizing that the person right next to us needs community, connection and comfort. People may reach out in a text, or through a phone call, but we have become so busy that we miss the text or forget to call back. Reaching out appears to be a daunting task; we don’t feel we have the capacity to ‘do enough’ for someone, even when all they may need is something as simple as a hello, or a hug. It’s similar to how organizing is viewed- it’s always seen as a larger than life task, when organizing involves everything from making and folding flyers, to childcare, to cooking to being in the streets. This fear leads us to stop communicating when someone is experiencing intense trauma, because under a capitalist society we have never learned how to deal with trauma in humanistic ways.

In the thrall of internalized shame, one is gripped by the compulsion to hide his face from the world. One’s own thoughts and feeling seem a foul pestilence from which to flee.

Cue: Existential dread. We are approaching the endgame of (global) capitalism; the system is headed straight to the landfill (its own creation) of history (that is, if global, late stage capitalism doesn’t bury the human species first by means of ecocide). Therefore, it is imperative, as we move towards the future, that we straddle the past as we become attuned to the lamentation of the ghosts of memory, personal and collective.

Deep emotional scars can warp libido; thus, in our age of corporate state hyper-authoritarianism, obsessive materialism, and neo-puritan pathology, all too many people have become terrified of their own passion–from sweat plangent lust to incandescent enthusiasm, right down to even accepting the shadows and perfumes borne of an inner life–and have withdrawn into forms of self-exile such as addiction, alienation, depression, compulsive materialism, and narcissistic striving.

-Phil Rockstroh

Back to ‘permanent solutions’ as mentioned earlier: capitalism and neoliberalism consistently are at times sold as temporary solutions to what end up being permanent problems for many- a market-based economy itself (this and this), high-interest loans through the IMF; the right-wing Heritage Foundation also critiques the role the IMF has played), austerity, sanctions and blockades.

In Mental Health Challenges Related to Neoliberal Capitalism in the United States, Anna Ziera’s report states, “Neoliberalism encourages individualism, which has decreased emphasis on the need for community and social connection for fulfillment. Since individualism is viewed as a desirable moral characteristic, asking for help, especially financially, is frowned upon. With complete faith in the free market to provide for all who wish to work, people who do not achieve financial success are blamed for their misfortunes increasing the stigma of poverty.”

In thinking about what (and how) i was going to write, i hearkened back to Karl Marx’ essay on suicide, based on economist Jacques Peuchet’s writings (Du suicide et de ses causes). Marx’ essay was written in 1846, two years prior to his (and Frederick Engels’) oft-quoted (and many times misinterpreted) Communist Manifesto. Marx’ essay was one i purchased as a teenager, simultaneously experiencing ideation as well as exploring where my political ideologies lie- a search i began from the age of 14. This copy of the book is one i still physically have.

Marx (whom two of his daughters also ended their lives) added his interpretation (which is in bold lettering) of Peuchet’s writing by saying, “All that has been said against suicide stems from the same circle of ideas.  One condemns suicide with foregone conclusions. But, the very existence of suicide is an open protest against these unsophisticated conclusions. They speak of our duty to this society, but not of our right to expect explanations and actions by our society.  They endlessly exalt, as the infinitely higher virtue, overcoming suffering, rather than giving in to it.  Such a virtue is every bit as sad as the perspective it opens up.  In brief, one has made suicide an act of cowardice, a crime against law, society, and honor.”

Also, “A dull bourgeois, who places his soul in his business and his God in commerce, can find all this to be very romantic and refute the pain that he cannot understand with derisive laughter.  We are not surprised by his derision. What else to expect from three-percenters, who have no inkling that daily, hourly, bit by bit, they kill themselves, their human nature.  But, what is one to say of those good people who play the devout, the educated, and still repeat this nastiness?”

An unjust, inhumane environment where labor is exploited, mental health struggles are reduced to an unspoken burden (or a series of slogans), and those on the margins of society are further marginalized is going to continually produce a population of people who are going to question the existence of life.

In the Zeira report, it states: “Attitudes toward people who receive government financial assistance can elicit feelings of shame from those who receive benefits.” There’s such an emphasis on ‘picking oneself up by the bootstraps’, the ‘self-made man’, and becoming ‘high value’; however, in a system that is dependent on economic disparities in order to thrive, the paths in which to achieve this ideal are unsustainable. Most people who hope to achieve some modicum of a CEO-style upper-level income do not aspire to exploit. The reality is though, this is what one must do if they’re going to maintain that level of wealth. If one has any level of empathy; if one’s value is based on building substantial relationships based on mutual respect and collaboration (as opposed to capitol acquisition and exploitation); if one has any level of respect for humanity, they are going to experience a dilemma.

Even after all this, even as i consistently rail against capitalism i acknowledge that i still fall subject to its pull.

All roads they lead to shame.

There’s also a shame associated with desirability. i want to address two types of desirability under capitalism here- one that is structural, and one that is personal. The social model of disability (which was coined by professor and activist Mike Oliver, but was adopted early on by the Union of the Physically Impaired Against Segregation (UPIAS)) examines the systemic or structural obstacles which prevent disabled people from participating to their fullest capacity. On music, i used to constantly wonder why it was i rarely saw people in wheelchairs at shows. As a person who, at this point in my life spends most of my time in a wheelchair, venues do not make it easy to navigate. The house i live in, i have had to adapt; but it’s not ideally accessible. It costs money to make it so.

Under capitalism, the role is to ensure you’ve got as many bodies as possible to exploit. If a society is going to at least present the illusion that some humanity exists, you will have funds allocated to assist folks who are disabled. However, the caveat is the hour upon hour of dealing with paperwork, phone calls with people who just see you as a number, and the ‘promise’ that you will not earn over a certain amount if you are going to continue receiving disability, even if that amount is not enough to cover rent/mortgage, bills and food combined.

In How Capitalism Contributes to Ableism, Chris Costello (who has cerebral palsy) writes, “Not only does capitalism give rise to disability oppression, I believe it also perpetuates it. The capitalists have both an economic and ideological interest to exclude workers based on perceived disability… The capitalist needs the average worker to produce commodities — that is, goods and services to be sold on a market. The capitalist also needs the worker to produce these commodities to be produced in the average amount of socially-necessary labor time. If a worker is too slow and cannot meet these requirements, the capitalist loses time that could be adding more value for himself. If a worker is too slow, they earn less profits for the given capitalist. Thus, there are purely economic reasons for a capitalist system to reject disabled people as workers. These workers cost more and cut into profit.”

Also: “The oppression of the disabled does not depend on the individual will, good or bad, of any particular capitalists. The objective, systemic laws of capitalist production confront the capitalists as a coercive force external to them. Even the bosses are not in full control of the system: market forces are. It is not about a capitalist being good or bad, it is about the logic of the system.”

In How Capitalism Contributed to Modern Conceptions of Disability, Costello opts towards a solution. “I believe disability oppression will cease to exist when we can overcome production for the sake of profit. We currently exist in a society that values human beings in proportion to their capacity to contribute to the production of surplus value. But that is not the only way to produce things. We could just as easily organize the economy around meeting human needs, rather than profit. We would be able to slow down production so impaired people could keep up and contribute to society fully. Organizing production in an anti-capitalist/socialist direction would combat disability oppression.”

i now want to address the personal ways in which capitalism shapes desirability. Costello addresses further in the Ableism piece, the steps sometimes taken to ‘fix’ folks on the disability spectrum, similar to how well-meaning (and not-so well meaning) people singularly suggest or utilize positive thought to fix’ or ‘cure’ depression. “Parents are generally advised to take measures, whether medical or therapeutic, to make their child as “normal” as possible. They face tremendous pressure to pathologize their children instead of working to make their lives as meaningful as possible.”

Also: “Ableism in the United States promotes the idea that disability is a personal tragedy. As we have seen, nothing could be further from the truth. The personal tragedy narrative is about the idea of “overcoming” disability through rehab or surgery, or else acknowledging their impairment and bravely going on in spite of it. In both cases, we are encouraged to look at disability as simply a set of obstacles that inexplicably arise to thwart us, rather than examining the barriers capitalist society puts in front of us.”

Sounds patronizing, doesn’t it?

“(C)consider(ing) the economic and societal factors that promote ableism and oppression” are of utmost importance, if we as a people are genuine about solutions. If a child ‘lashes out’, there most likely is an underlying reason they are doing so. People lament the existence of crime without addressing class and social inequities, as well as the question of who is determining what crime is what. The factors that drive ableism are the same factors that drive the stigmas toward people experiencing and living with depression and/or ideation.

‘Cause you lied

Subconsciously, i still believe these lies, and project them onto myself.

i am a person with a disability- a very apparent one. i have no problem saying that, as it is a reality. While there are days i do struggle (basic things like chores and getting the mail are not necessarily the easiest), while leaving and returning to the house is a whole event, and while i have to physically adapt to every single thing in my life now; i am very grateful to be alive (despite the ideation and depression). Being an amputee has been an incredibly humbling experience.

That said, whatever anxieties i have had about my body have now been heightened. Prior to being an amputee there were particular parts of my body i was fixated on, to the point of dysmorphia. i don’t talk about it much at all. There are times- pretty much daily- that i feel relief in being an amputee in that it’s a little more of a struggle for me to get out of the house. If i don’t go out, the world doesn’t have to see me. Simultaneously i do want to leave the house, so i can just be outside… but i fear people looking at me.

Photos by Harry Langdon

For all reflections look the same
In the shine of the midnight revolver

It took me 38 years before i could even be okay with looking at my reflection in the mirror.

For years (since i was a teenager) i wanted to look like the front cover of Diana Ross’ first solo album in 1970: tiny, flat chested… She looked like a tiny child, despite having a whole adult romantic relationship with Motown CEO Berry Gordy, and giving birth to a child they both produced, in 1971. We could have debates all day about the moral or ethical nature of that relationship (due to the power imbalance), but i will save that for another time. One thing i do know is when i first saw that cover it encapsulated everything i wanted to be.

Invisible.

Despite the photo on the back of the album of the same person who was on the front; while i thought she was beautiful, that woman was not something i aspired to. She was womanly. She was going to be seen. And sexualized in some capacity.

i remember being 10 years old and going on a strictly tuna fish diet for a week. That was the beginning of a relationship with food, based on control. i aimed to do it not simply because i wanted to lose weight, but because that weight loss was tied to not being looked at. i always wanted to be as straight and slim as a board, so i wouldn’t be adultified or ogled by catcallers walking down the street. It is disgusting that i would even have to worry about that kind of thing as a child.

i never told anyone at this point that i was sexually assaulted on the back of a school bus at the age of 8, with onlookers laughing at me. i do not know if that moment triggered the relationship i developed with my body. i really cannot say. i briefly mentioned it in a poem i wrote when i was 15, but i finally told my story in my early 30s.

My fears about ‘growing in certain places’ got more pronounced as i hit puberty, and i saw my sister growing, and getting comments. She also liked boys though, and i did not desire that attention. i never developed anorexia or bulimia, but i became a vegetarian at 14 (and a vegan three years later- which i still am), and i was very active, so i stayed small enough. i was also a punk kid, so people thought i was weird enough to stay away from in that way- another reason why punk is a blessing.

As a teenager i started to develop feelings for a few people i considered friends; however, the feeling was never mutual. This was a pattern that repeated itself over the years, well into adulthood. The feelings were romantic, but a lot deeper than a focus on the physical. However, because i was raised in a society that equates/conflates romance with sex, even though i couldn’t see it i assumed my feelings or attractions were also physical or sexual, as opposed to simply aesthetic or emotional.

There have been times where i did binge eat as a means of control and hiding as well. If i hid behind food, then no one would pay attention to me.

It got to the point where there were a few people who were interested in me primarily in a physical way, and that scared me. i had moments where i was physical with others, but the first time i had what people usually define as ‘sex’ was at the age of 21. It was not exactly consensual as i did not say yes, nor did i say no. i was like a deer caught in headlights as it was happening. i didn’t have anyone to talk to when this happened to me, as this conversation wasn’t even in the public lexicon in the 1990s.

The sexual experiences i have had over the years have been with cis-hetero men who have been abusive (and coerced me into not using protection), or primarily wanted something physical, but not much beyond that. (Women and trans, asexual, pan or nonbinary folks don’t really approach me or show interest like that; i don’t know why.) There was something these men wanted from me (besides the sex)- either to exploit any low self esteem i may have had, or to (in retrospect) use me as a muse to access a connection to their own ‘Blackness’.

One of these men (who told me when i was laying there in the hospital that i was one of the bravest and most important people to him, but also eventually texted that he could no longer talk to me) asked me (again, as i was in pain in a hospital bed) if now being an amputee was going to make me fat.

While i could sit here all day and write a dissertation on how ableist and vain that question is- That is not a question i would ask someone who almost died but eventually survived being hit by a truck, and lost a leg- the one thing i was aware of was how fast any dysmorphia i had returned. As i lay there naked and completely vulnerable as nurses and techs cleaned and wiped me every single day; as i lost 20 pounds as my body worked on healing itself, and as i gained the weight back after i did heal… i maintained a fixation on wanting to still be invisible.

i worked really hard over the years to accept and love myself, and my body. It finally happened at the age of 42. i did jiu jitsu and striking/kickboxing. i was getting better at pullups. i loved riding my bicycle everywhere. Now i have to start over again; when i go outside everyone will see me with just one massively swollen foot and a skin grafted leg.

When i go out people are generally nice to me, but i don’t necessarily feel desired.

i feel like a giant blob with one leg. i dread the summer months, because i cannot be comforted with a sweater or hoodie, concealing my body.

Here is where my contradictions lie. i don’t necessarily feel infantilized when people see me, but at times i do feel patronized, when people tell me i’m brave, or that they wouldn’t know what to do if they became an amputee. Or when people stare at me as if i’m helpless. It is dehumanizing. i question if i was used/dehumanized in some capacity in my sexual experiences (pre-amputation) as well, because i ultimately was a means to a particular end- i’ve begun to question if any non-physical interaction was a calculated way to achieve whatever ends they had in mind. i honestly don’t know.

It comes around, back to desirability. Even as i talk about desire and being desired, i write about it with the understanding that it’s going to be interpreted in a particular way by people who view it with that particular lens. Desire tends to be observed in a specific way, with regards to physical/sexual attraction. If attraction is a reflection of the world around us, then systemically it would make sense why i have never been seen as desirable, in terms of a romantic relationship.

In the Book Sexed Up, Julia Serano discusses sexualization “as a more general tactic to delegitimize and dehumanize people.” If we fall outside of the socially accepted desired norms, people who have been marginalized by the expectations of the norms (whether it’s orientation, gender, ethnicity or disability, etc.) will be seen as “sexually deviant, or predatory, or hypersexual, or desperate, or undesirable, or exotic, or… a ‘fetish object.'”

i have never truly been desired in ways where i am seen as a full human. i recall being told more than a few times over the years that i’d be “a good wife and mother.” i’ve always been told that i’m a ‘nice person.’ i was never sure what any of that meant ultimately, especially as the people who tended to tell me that were married (sometimes with kids themselves), and they had no real interest in me romantically (fortunately).

On the surface, being told you’d make a good wife and/or mother may sound like a compliment; however, like a lot of things i’ve mentioned here it can also be pretty patronizing. Being a wife and/or mother is viewed as virtuous (as opposed to someone who makes the conscious decision to not be those things); it is something that is valued in a heteronormative/heterosexist society and yet mothers are devalued, because it is ‘unpaid work.’ You have to wonder if it’s assumed i’d be a ‘good wife and mother’ because women who are caretakers (or assumed to be so) are not seen as ‘desirable’. Was i often seen as being viewed as a potential ‘good wife/mother’, because it would be expected of me to produce constantly free emotional labor, in addition to a nurturing side that women are expected/assumed to have?

Who is going to care for me?

Anyone i had a real interest in did not reciprocate those feelings; so with what very well may be considered to be an aspect of compulsory sexuality, as mentioned, in order to know what it felt like to be with someone i did get with abusers, or those who had no interest in forming a substantial relationship with me. Had i not done those things, my guess is that at my current age (which is almost 50) i still may not have known what it was like to be with anyone.

i am not writing this for anyone to feel sorrow or pity for me. i learned a lot about myself in these experiences; and like everything else in life, i see these experiences as dialectical.

But we are still here, at the question of desirability. And capitalism.

There has been such a focus on ‘the loneliness of men’, or ‘How masculinity has failed’ as of late. Queries such as these (and there are many) are consistently (and at times, singularly) tied to the brokenness of men. Even if it’s being touted as a it’s a biting critique of ‘toxic masculinity and the manosphere’, there’s still an underlying heteronormativity in the critiques. And a overwhelming emphasis that it’s primarily men who are affected by feelings of rejection and loneliness. Some, but not all pieces on this touch on capitalist frameworks of masculinity being the primary contributor to this ‘epidemic’. Boys and men are being asked to perform tasks that are impossible to fulfill. Their desire to belong and be heard is not fulfilled, and they find someone (usually on the internet) who speaks to them.

Based on my experience of being rejected and being seen as ‘just a friend’ more times to the point where i’ve stopped counting, i could have just as easily fallen into one of these alternate universes. It may not make sense to some, but recognizing the importance of political education in identifying the ways in which we are systemically conditioned to view various types of relationships helps me to make sense of my own misery, which in turn prevents me from acting said misery out on others.

As a darker skinned, very openly anticapitalist, not traditionally feminine woman with a lot of tattoos (who has at some points semi-regularly been called ‘mister’ or ‘sir’ by adult strangers and asked if i was a boy or a girl by children), i’ve certainly over the years been (unfortunately) catcalled; but most (if not all) men who catcall are not looking for a meaningful companionship with you. Objectification more or less warrants a type of control, as opposed to a type of desire i am speaking of.

i live with the understanding that i may never have that experience of being desired, or be in a healthy (romantic) companionship. As i was not deemed desirable enough (beyond the physical) to have a healthy/non-toxic companionship with someone prior to being an amputee; as a woman who now has an apparent disability (in addition to all the other things) i have another set of anxieties, as i wonder if i am going to be fetishized by those who claim interest.

i have never been online to seek out a companion (nor do i ever intend to), but i do think of my own experiences offline, and the experiences of people who tend to not be seen, because the online world (just like music communities in general) is a reflection of what goes on in the ‘real world’.

Because of course, there’s also Satoshi Kanazawa. Remember him? Fortunately, this piece was heavily debunked and critiqued.

What happens to all the broken people in the end? They get thrown away, because they cannot function in a way capitalism needs them. So exploiters of a different kind become the new heroes.

See what i mean by all of this feeling like a job?

‘Cause you lied
Yes you lied

All the shame i feel about my body is a lie. Because someone created the lie.

i know this, and yet still…

i cannot stop the voices in my head.

i want to be desired, but not objectified. i want to be desired, but because i am not desired i want to disappear. i want to disappear because i don’t want to be looked at. i don’t want to be looked at because i have returned to hating my body. i am not even talking about my body being desired sexually. i just hate my body right now. i hate admitting that. And if i hate patriarchal notions and conditioning of how we view the body, why do i hate mine?

i hate that i have this contradiction. i hate it because the body i have now, it’s more likely to be objectified. It’s more likely to be attacked.

i want to be Diana Ross in 1970 (without the fame) so bad. i want to be invisible.

But i also want to be desired. And loved. i want to be held. i want intimacy.

i want to be and feel heard, and seen beyond my body.

When i go out into the world, that is the first thing you see.

All any of us want is to be and feel heard. It is, again, one of the reasons people look for connection wherever they can find it, whether that’s in a community, a writing or a song.

What i have written here hasn’t even scratched the surface of what is happening in my brain. i honestly don’t know where i fit in, when it comes to my life right now. i don’t know where i fit in with my body. i don’t know where i fit in with the people in my life. i feel out of place with everything, and overwhelmed.

Life feels like a job. But through it all, it was a song that saved my life.

Imagine… And Then Recognize.

I want you to imagine a situation, where a coworker or family member clocks in at the beginning of the day, or arrives at a function. They appear tired yet jovial. As you ask them how they are you reach out to touch them, they recoil in pain. You then notice up close, bruises and lacerations. You ask if they are okay and they are resistant to answer.

Imagine that this person has been further victimized by others when asking for help, as they claim the abuser could not do such a thing, because ‘they just seem so nice… so attractive. After all, they are helping you financially.’ The abuser has integrated themselves into a particular environment and generated a particular benevolent character. Imagine that this abuser has withheld everything financially in order to assert control over the relationship. Imagine that the one being abused has children, and has little to no recourse, but to stay with the abuser. The alternate choice is houselessness. Imagine that they made moves to assert independence, and their plans were thwarted once discovered, and every time were beaten to the point of being hospitalized. Imagine this person filing a restraining order against the abuser, and having it consistently violated.

Now imagine this abused individual to be a country. Imagine the abuser to be another country. Now take your imagination and recognize this is reality.

We shall start with Cuba.

Imagine… No, don’t imagine- recognize. Recognize that in 1959, the masses of Cuba organized themselves against Fulgencio Batista, the U.S.-backed dictator. As a result, in 1960 the U.S. facilitated moves to establish a long-standing blockade, in existence to this day.

Control of access to food, medical supplies and other resources to a people experiencing starvation and sickness is a direct means to control a people. The countries (and allies) who enact sanctions occasionally end up providing ‘aid’ to said people. In addition to waging mass disinformation campaigns on a global scale, those who enacted the sanctions will end up looking like heroes and humanitarians, despite stepping in for the sole purpose of overthrowing a government.

Understanding this, now recognize that any country in resistance to relinquishing despite the stranglehold of a blockade is going to face even further retaliation.

It is easy to sympathize or empathize with someone experiencing the withholding of money, food, access to outside contact and other qualifications of abuse within individual interpersonal relationships. The person being abused is encouraged to seek escape. When it comes to geopolitics, those who experience these same things at the hands of imperialist abusers are further victimized, and we are constantly told that the people (or the government) did this to themselves. Those who seek asylum are turned away.

If you have, at any point in time said this about anywhere in the world that has a history of resistance to imperialist forces, both past and present- especially Cuba, go back and read the memo above. This was established by (the once ‘Supreme Commander’ of NATO) Eisenhower and his administration, and propped up by every proceeding administration.

Then go back and study how there is no distinct difference between democrats and republicans.

One cannot forget that Eisenhower had a few practice runs prior to the plans for the overthrow of the Cuban revolution, what with the CIA-backed coups in Iran (in 1953) and Guatemala (1954). What did Mohammed Mosaddeq of Iran do? Nationalize the oil. What did Jacobo Árbenz of Guatemala do? Gave support to the peasant class, through land reforms. As a result of the overthrows, Mohammad Reza Pahlavi (aka the shah) and Carlos Castillo Armas were installed, leading authoritarian/dictatorial governments, a direct counter to the formerly democratically elected ones.

In light of all the news and conversation in regards to Ukraine, it’s important to note that again, there’s no distinction between republicans and democrats. Both parties work hard to usurp control from democratically elected governments. One need not look too far back to the year 2014, to see one of the major roots of why Ukraine is is in the position it’s currently in. A conversation between U.S. assistant secretary of state Victoria Nuland and U.S. ambassador to Ukraine Geoffrey Pyatt has them strategizing how to oust democratically elected president Viktor Yanukovych, and listing their desired choices as a replacement. With the help of NATO, the U.S. got it’s wish to destabilize a nation.

i’m sure at this point you can figure out what happened as a result of the ousting of Yanukovych- and my guess is that, if you’ve been paying attention you guessed correctly. Reactionary factions were able to thrive amidst instability, and it maintains to this day. What did capitalist publications like the New York Times call them? Heroes. People wave Ukranian banners and flags without the understanding that many at the forefront of this movement are outright neo-nazis, and praise the name of Stepan Bandera. And of course, just like with all of the colonizers and enslavers in the U.S., Bandera has a street/boulevard named in honor of him in Kiev.

If you think the U.S. had no awareness of this, you would be incorrect. Both the U.S. and Israel contributed to funding, training and supplying weapons to the neo-nazi Azov Battalion.

In line with this, the reportage of current events lends much more sympathy to those in Ukraine (since they are deemed ‘European’), than those facing conditions of war in Yemen, Somalia, Palestine… or even the African and Indian populations in Ukraine. To add another level to this situation, Ahed Tamimi, a Palestinian youth who was arrested in 2017 for battling an Israeli soldier in occupied West Bank, was demonized by many at the time. Photos of her have resurfaced, and she has been mislabeled as a Ukranian child. She obviously doesn’t look like a ‘traditional Palestinian’ in the eyes of those who currently humanize and praise her as a ‘brave’.

When you see capitalist governments and media sources waging propaganda campaigns against any anti-imperialist areas, calling any democratically elected officials ‘dictators’ and calling actual dictatorships ‘resistance movements’; think of the above document and the audio, and think about which regimes were supported by the imperialist west. The role of enacting sanctions is to create conditions so bad that the people of the country experiencing said sanctions will be dependent on you.

When the U.S. aims for Russia’s isolation, they decided to finally acknowledge Nicolas Maduro- a president considered to be a ‘dictator’ in their eyes, to the point where they have publicly stated that Juan Guaido (someone not elected by the majority of people in Venezuela) was the rightful president. Similar to what occurs with any enemies of western imperialism, claims of oil hoarding and purposeful food shortages at the expense of the people were concocted, as any propaganda listed neglects to address the effects of any sanctions imposed on Venezuela.

Juan González (Deputy Assistant Secretary of State for Western Hemisphere Affairs) states very matter-of-factly to the anti-people’s class ‘Voice Of America (VOA)’ network the Biden administration’s role in supporting sanctions for Russia.

In translation: “What has to be taken into account here is that the sanctions on Russia are so robust that they will have an impact on those governments that have economic affiliation with Russia, and that’s by design. So Venezuela is going to start to feel that pressure. Nicaragua is going to feel that pressure, as is Cuba. But ultimately what we want negotiated solutions to the crisis in Venezuela. We want the restoration of diplomatic order in Nicaragua. And we want the Cubans to be the ones to determine their future and not to be in a dictatorship, which is what we have been in for more than sixty years… (I)f you look at the sanctions on 13 financial institutions among the largest in Russia, that will have an impact on any government or business that has trade with these institutions, but also a lot of this money laundering and governments that operate outside of the international financial system will feel the squeeze based on these sanctions.”

So how does an imperialist country see negotiation? By applying force to get what it wants. ‘You don’t wanna deal with the U.S. dollar or the IMF? Well, we will deal with you.’

And if you don’t believe me, return to the first document, and listen to or read again what González is saying. Cubans DID determine their future in 1959, and continue to determine their future. However, it’s difficult to reach a full potential in determining that future with the boot of imperialism on your neck.

In case you need further proof of how the U.S. and its acronymed agencies continue to work in favor of overthrowing democratically elected governments, here’s a document discussing the United States Agency for International Development (USAID)’s involvement in Nicaragua.

In addition to what González stated, in line with capitalism’s role in expanding exploitation in order to achieve profits in short order; Chris Hedges notes, “General Dynamics, Lockheed Martin, Northrop Grumman, Raytheon hit their 52 week highs. Because, of course, fueling a conflict in Ukraine, expanding NATO, this is good for business.”

Not only that, but it would also be beneficial to the interest of U.S. imperialism to increase military presence and NATO expansion all across Europe, as well as further the neocolonialist project across Africa.

Don’t believe me? Well… do you believe the words of Joe Biden in 1987?

‘Democracy’ under capitalism is always conditional and transactional. There’s this idea that the U.S. is working to ‘protect democracy’ around the world. But at what point do the masses around the world get to have an actual process and system of democracy, when NATO and the imperialist west are consistently dictating what political and economic systems should exist?

How does one who loves to emphasize ‘U.S.-based democracy’ explain the Reagan administration signing into law an approved $100 million in aid (plus weapons and training) for the Contras in Nicaragua, in order to overthrow the Sandinista government? If democracy is to be celebrated, why would Reagan wage a full on disinformation campaign about the Sandinista government being an extension of the USSR? The disinformation campaign continues to this day. How does one account for the National Security Decision Directive 17 (NSDD-17), where $19 million was allocated towards the CIA’s training of the Contras?

How does one defend the other September 11th… back in 1973? You know, the CIA-led assassination of (once again) democratically elected Socialist president Salvador Allende, thus prompting the dictatorship of (U.S. backed) Augusto Pinochet?

You saw the same patterns: CIA-backed reactionary/terrorist groups destroyed the infrastructure, in order to destabilize the economy and life of the Chilean masses. The command from Richard Nixon was to “make the economy scream.”

Here’s the ultimate question- one of the most basic of questions: even if you, after reading this still somehow, for some reason, think of socialism and communism as being the ultimate in evil; how would you defend in any way, one country stepping in and dictating how another country should be run? If you claim to support democracy, wouldn’t that also mean you support a country’s decision to determine its own destiny?

Would you advocate for others stepping in and determining the destiny of a person who is escaping an abusive relationship, without the abused person’s input?

So imagine… and then recognize that the abused partner is experiencing the same things as the masses of those experiencing the effects of imperialism and (neo)colonialism. And they have fought, and continue to organize and fight for self determination.

Why now…

cop Warning
commons.wikimedia.org

The police are the same way…  They put their club upside your head, and then turn around and accuse you of attacking them.  Every case of police brutality against a Negro follows the same pattern.  They attack you, bust you all upside your mouth, and then take you to court and charge you with assault.  What kind of democracy is that??!!

-Malcolm X

You can’t separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom.

-Malcolm X

The way they pull you over it’s suspicious
Yeah, for something that just ain’t your fault
If you complain they’re gonna get vicious
Kick you in the teeth and charge you with assault
Yeah, but I can see the chickens coming home to roost
Young people everywhere are gonna cook their goose
Lots of kids are working to get rid of these blues
‘Cause everybody’s sick of the American ruse

-MC5

i have been (slowly) working on several blog entries before this one; however, i wanted  this particular subject to have its own entry.

i’ve been receiving several calls, texts and e mails, concerned about me in the midst of all of the uprisings going on.  When people ask me (in general) how i am doing, my answer tends to be, “i am doing the best i can in the midst of capitalism.”  When people are asking if i am okay in the midst of the uprisings, my response is, “i am never going to be okay as long as capitalism is alive.”  Both responses are variations of the same subject:  capitalism is the root cause of any struggles in existence for the masses.  HOW the masses respond is crucial.

i am open in saying that i support the global uprisings happening.  That said, as organized as the system of capitalism is, guarantee that it’s 200 steps ahead of those who are out in the streets.  It’s a system based on exploitation, inequity and inhumanity, and it continues to develop, based on technological and informational advances.  We must remember that the only constant is change.  Humans are increasingly beginning to recognize the illusions presented to them about a system (many centuries old) based on their exploitation.  The only response is going to be to rise up against the illusions.  As it should be.  This is why it is crucial to have an organized a response to the illusions.

This morning I woke up in a curfew;
O God, I was a prisoner, too – yeah!
Could not recognize the faces standing over me;
They were all dressed in uniforms of brutality. Eh!

-Burnin’ And Lootin’, The Wailers

Dealing with the condition itself is not enough.  And it is because of our effort toward getting straight to the root that people ofttimes think that we’re dealing in hate. 

We are oppressed!  We are exploited!  We are downtrodden!  We are denied- not only civil rights, but even human rights.  So the only way we’re going to get some of this oppression and exploitation away from us or aside from us is come together against the common enemy. 

-Malcolm X (May 20, 1962, after the murder of Ronald Stokes by the police)

i do not watch videos of police violence upon our bodies….  Just as i did not watch the torture and murder of Muammar Ghaddafi.  Capitalism replays these videos over and over again (via news programs and social media) to keep us in a loop of trauma.  We stay in this loop feeling tired and helpless, asking ‘What do we do?  They keep killing us!’  We continue to protest every time it happens, and the cycle continues.  History will always inform us of the solution.  Political education will inform us of the reasons.

The story will always be the same:  the police decide to be the judge, jury and executioner when it comes to the lives of African, Indigenous, poor and other marginalized communities.  A man (George Floyd) was murdered for allegedly making a purchase with a counterfeit $20.  Only under capitalism is someone ‘deserving’ of physical death because of something a cashier could have marked and refused, if the bill was actually counterfeit.  Having been a cashier at one point in my life i can tell you that counterfeit bills get detected once in a while.  Not once have i or any of my coworkers felt an urge to phone the cops when the marker emits brown or black ink, as opposed to the yellowish ink that signifies a ‘proper’ bill.  We just told people that the bill was counterfeit, and asked if they had another bill to replace it.

As Mr. Floyd was still directly outside of the store, the co-owner (Mahmoud Abumayyaleh) or cashier who interacted with him could have mentioned the bill was counterfeit.  It’s highly likely he was not aware, which does happen.  The cashier calling the cops (which is store protocol at Cup Foods, apparently) is not the focus though, nor should it be. A man is gone at the hands of the police, while Bernard Lawrence Madoff still gets to walk, despite participating in one of the largest Ponzi schemes in the world.

There’s a slight irony in the whole current situation:  kneeling historically has been known to represent some sort of deference, in a religious or cultural sense.  In more recent times it primarily represents protest.  When Colin Kaepernick publicly ‘took a knee’ in protest of police terrorism upon African people, it was a division among ideological and political lines.  These lines are STILL occurring.  As well-meaning as people who support (the intention of) the protests are, the request for the masses to ‘not meet violence with violence’ is still upholding property over people…  Or in the words of MLK, these are the people who say “‘I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action’; (people) who paternalistically believe(s) he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom.”  The point of mass protests SHOULD be to disrupt capitalism.

The white liberal must rid himself of the notion that there can be a tensionless transition from the old order of injustice to the new order of justice…. The Negro has not gained a single right in America without persistent pressure and agitation….

Nonviolent coercion always brings tension to the surface. This tension, however, must not be seen as destructive. There is a kind of tension that is both healthy and necessary for growth. Society needs nonviolent gadflies to bring its tensions into the open and force its citizens to confront the ugliness of their prejudices and the tragedy of their racism.

It is important for the liberal to see that the oppressed person who agitates for his rights is not the creator of tension. He merely brings out the hidden tension that is already alive. Last Summer when we had our open housing marches in Chicago, many of our white liberal friends cried out in horror and dismay: “You are creating hatred and hostility in the white communities in which you are marching, You are only developing a white backlash.” I could never understand that logic. They failed to realize that the hatred and the hostilities were already latently or subconsciously present. Our marches merely brought them to the surface….

– Martin Luther King Jr. (Where Do We Go from Here – Chaos or Community?)

And I came to see that so many people who supported morally and even financially what we were doing in Birmingham and Selma, were really outraged against the extremist behavior of Bull Connor and Jim Clark toward Negroes, rather than believing in genuine equality for Negroes. And I think this is what we’ve got to see now, and this is what makes the struggle much more difficult.

And this leads me to say something about another discussion that we hear a great deal, and that is the so-called “white backlash.” I would like to honestly say to you that the white backlash is merely a new name for an old phenomenon. It’s not something that just came into being because of shouts of Black Power or because Negroes engaged in riots in Watts, for instance. The fact is that the state of California voted a fair housing bill out of existence before anybody shouted Black Power or before anybody rioted in Watts.

It may well be that shouts of Black Power and riots in Watts and the Harlems and the other areas are the consequences of the white backlash rather than the cause.

What it is necessary to see is that there has never been a single solid monistic determined commitment on the part of the vast majority of white Americans on the whole question of Civil Rights and on the whole question of racial equality. This is something that truth impels all men of good will to admit.

Let me say as I’ve always said and I will always continue to say that riots are socially destructive and self-defeating. I’m still convinced that nonviolence is the most potent weapon available to oppressed people in their struggle for freedom and justice. I feel that violence will only create more social problems than they will solve. That in a real sense it is impractical for the Negro to even think of mounting a violent revolution in the United States. So I will continue to condemn riots and continue to say to my brothers and sisters that this is not the way. And continue to affirm that there is another way… But at the same time, it is as necessary for me to be as vigorous in condemning the conditions which cause persons to feel that they must engage in riotous activities as it is for me to condemn riots. I think America must see that riots do not develop out of thin air. Certain conditions continue to exist in our society which must be condemned as vigorously as we condemn riots. But in the final analysis, a riot is the language of the unheard.

And what is it that America has failed to hear? It has failed to hear that the plight of the Negro poor has worsened over the last few years. It has failed to hear that the promises of freedom and justice have not been met. And it has failed to hear that large segments of white society are more concerned about tranquility and the status quo than about justice, equality and humanity.

And so in a real sense our nation’s summers of riots are caused by our nation’s winters of delay. And as long as America postpones justice, we stand in the position of having these recurrences of violence and riots over and over again. Social justice and progress are the absolute guarantors of riot prevention.

– Martin Luther King Jr. (The Other America, April 14, 1967)

Derek Chauvin is but one individual.  He ‘took a knee’ (and took an African’s life) in honor of all the cops who could not.  To singularly focus on and protest the case of George Floyd/Breonna Taylor/etc.’s murder (and to focus only on police terrorism at all) is still going to present MORE Chauvins.  The increase in uprisings is going to produce policies which will enact mild reforms in order to squelch ongoing mass dissent, and people will see it as a ‘step forward’ amidst increases of an even larger surveillance state and national militaristic strategies.  After all, Chauvin was arrested and charged (of course only with 3rd degree murder– a rare ‘feat’, as cops are rarely arrested and charged).  Then there’s this:

Remember that capitalism is 200 steps ahead.  You cannot ‘take a knee’ in honor of someone who was murdered by the very system you remain silent about every other day.  This is the organized deception it’s crucial to look out for.  If police are supposed to be seen as ‘protectors’ or upholders of the law, wouldn’t that tell you the laws don’t serve the interests of the people?  If cops are supposed to be so beneficial, why are they globally viewed as the enemy by workers and peasants?  Why would it suddenly be accepted that their being in the streets marching and ‘taking a knee’ serves as anything other than to divert attention?

cops protecting bull
(David Shankbone / Flickr)

The role of the police is to protect private property and prevent mass uprisings– there is no other way around it.  There is no such thing as a ‘good cop,’ or a ‘bad/good apple.’  You make a conscious decision to put on the uniform or badge, you make the decision to protect capitalism.  These cops people claim are good usually remain silent in response to state-sanctioned violence.  There are ‘nice individuals’ who happen to be cops.  These ‘nice’ people are still employed to be the enemies of the people.  However, this is not what i am addressing.  A focus on individuals is a distraction from addressing the system in which policing is founded.  Though police are working-class individuals, they make the decision every single day to work against the best interests of the people.  There are people with good intentions who sign up to be a cop in order to ‘change things from the inside…‘  We see every day how this turns out.  You CANNOT reform a system which is based on the system of violence against the bodies of marginalized and oppressed peoples.  You cannot reform a system which assures that class inequities are upheld.

Let’s not get it twisted- humans in the U.S. still fall under ‘private property.’  Humans are still enslaved- i mean, McGraw Hill knows what’s up.  Capitalism had to evolve as well, based on the fact that humans constantly revolt against their subjugation.  Capitalist governments don’t introduce human rights laws based on some moral compass.  Mass uprisings occurred in response to the exploitation of child labor, of the 12+ hour work day…  So labor laws and the 8-hour day was established as a means to satiate that desire for job/life balance.   However, because capitalism be capitalismin’ costs of living have increased, yet wages have not.  The masses still have to have jobs in order to cover basic material needs.  Educational institutions under capitalism function in the same way:  education is said to be ‘the great equalizer,’ and yet schools are funded in accordance to map location.  Schools are defunded and funded according to students’ test scores, ignoring the class inequities which contribute to the results of the scores.  Teachers who come in dehumanizing African and poor students are the ones scoring the tests and papers.  The school to prison pipeline is a reality many students face; and under capitalism, the role of an educational institution is to prepare you to never question authority, and to continue to unquestioningly ‘clock in and clock out.’

mavi marmara

The day i write this piece (May 31, 2020) is the 10th ‘commemoration’ of the murder by the Israeli military of unarmed peace activists on the Mavi Marmara, one of the six ‘Gaza Freedom Flotilla’ ships.   It is crucial to recognize that police terrorism is interconnected- it can never be observed myopically.  If policing falls in line with upholding and perpetuating capitalist interests we should never make the mistake of thinking it happens in a bubble, or just to our singular communities.  The links (two out of many are here and here) between Israel and the U.S. police are nothing to ignore.  It would behoove those who don’t recognize that the Palestinian struggle for land and self-determination is not separate for the African fight for liberation and self-determination (and land!!!) to also study why this is the case.

Exhibits A, B, C and D:

palestine
Life in occupied Palestine- courtesy of muslim.daily

Sanctions occur in both the U.S. and outside of it.  In the course of this current pandemic, we see how sanctions (on Zimbabwe, Iran, Venezuela, Syria and more) have prevented medical, food and other supplies from reaching the people.  Sanctions exist for marginalized and colonized communities in the U.S., via educational, medical, housing, food, electrical, sanitation, and economic inequities.  The government places drugs in a community (or looks the other way in the face of a natural disaster), waits for said community to be ‘uninhabitable’ to realtors (who don’t have an income if they don’t sell or fill up ‘property’); then developers come in and contribute to pricing out longtime residents.  Gentrification is the localized version of an imperialist takeover.

From the Negro Seaman’s Act to the current wave of curfews, African bodies in the U.S. (and the world) have always been policed, so as to curtail uprisings.  And as usual, executives and the bourgeoisie are doubly running scared, as their ‘way of life’ is being disrupted- first, due to the pandemic, secondly due to the uprisings.   There are now many calls to read books about ‘racism in America’; there’s feigned concerns for the voices of African employees.  If the CNN headquarters were not targeted, would this response happen?  How about this one from Amazon- the same union-busting company that sells facial recognition software to the very police who contribute to that “inequitable and brutal treatment of (African) people”?

The bourgeoisie is also singling out the current administration’s reaction to Mr. Floyd’s murder (and the uprisings which have ensued), as if Donald Trump is the only U.S. president to support a system of white supremacy.  One of the many arbitors of white supremacist policies, Joseph Biden, is calling for a “restraint” from violence in the uprisings, as he and other neoliberal politicians remain silent amidst the violence of Zionism, the violence of the prison industrial complex, and the violence of capitalism in and of itself.  Not only is Biden playing up the sympathy in relation to the state-sanctioned violence upon African people for political gain, it’s clear from the myopic outrage based on one statement out of the wholly condescending interview with Charlemagne (who has his own problematic histories with colorism, misogynoir, assault jokes and more), that people are actually not aware of his political history.  As Margaret Kimberley wrote in 2017, “It is an error to be swept up in useless argument about whether the current president is a white supremacist without also discussing the racist underpinnings of American society.”

“In 1956, I shall not go to the polls. I have not registered. I believe that democracy has so far disappeared in the United States that no ‘two evils’ exist. There is but one evil party with two names, and it will be elected despite all I can do or say.”

– W.E.B. DuBois

He was not or never had been in favor
Of letting us vote so u c…
Abraham Lincoln was a racist who said
“U cannot escape from history”

-Prince Rogers Nelson

Kimberley, author of Prejudential:  Black America And The Presidents, also wrote:

“We had a white supremacist nation even when the president was black. Barack Obama was indeed the more effective evil. He is now proving it by doing what former presidents always do. He is lining his pockets giving speeches to the banksters who stole what little wealth black people had managed to earn. But he had better manners than the erratic and, yes, bigoted Donald Trump and he went out of his way to make nice even as he worked to enhance the neo-liberal and imperialist projects.

Obama never prosecuted killer cops or thieving bank executives. He destroyed Libya, Africa’s most prosperous nation. But white racists still hated him and he benefited from their animus. They gave him the Teflon coating that Trump can only dream about.”

Keep Ms. Kimberley’s words in mind when reading Obama’s statement regarding the murder of George Floyd- the same Obama who has supported and funded increased militarization of the police during his administration.  Capitalism understands that people are reactionary.  Capitalism understands that we are conditioned to resist the intense study of these policies, which are an exacerbation of past ones.  Capitalism understands that if you put in a president that’s so bad, you’ll forget that the last one was just as bad.  This is also the same Obama who represented MLK’s concerns about ‘white liberals’ dictating how Africans should protest:

“As a general rule, I think that what, for example, Black Lives Matter is doing now to bring attention to the problem of a criminal justice system that sometimes is not treating people fairly based on race, or reacting to shootings of individuals by police officers, has been really effective in bringing attention to problems… One of the things I caution young people about, though, that I don’t think is effective is once you’ve highlighted an issue and brought it to people’s attention and shined a spotlight, and elected officials or people who are in a position to start bringing about change are ready to sit down with you, then you can’t just keep on yelling at them,”

 

Has any true victory of the people been won by compromising with an immoral capitalist power structure?

i’ll wait.

As the focus is on Trump’s description of protesters as ‘thugs,’ lest we forget, Obama also called those who rose up in Baltimore “criminals” and “thugs.” He actually stopped himself from completing the word ‘protesters’ to do it.  He also utilized similar pathologies framed by Daniel Patrick Moynihan.

While Obama, Trump and many others give negative connotations to ‘looting’ (when it comes to mass protest); people generally ignore that the very foundation of the U.S. is looting.

A racial analysis cannot be had without a class analysis, and vice versa.  The refusal of unionized bus drivers (most recently in NYC and Minneapolis) to assist police in transporting protesters is nothing new, however it is a major example of why an intersectional analysis cannot be ignored.   The reason why Africans continue to be recipients of state violence in ways which are holdovers from legalized ‘classical’ enslavement is because the forced labor as we’ve been conditioned to know it is no longer ‘acceptable’.  However, capitalism and the exploitation and subjugation of African bodies (all over the world) never ceased.  We’re not dying fast enough for them collectively, partly due to the so-called ‘Emancipation proclamation’ (signed by white supremacist Abraham Lincoln).  Hence, there are a disproportionate number of Africans in jails and prisons for non-violent offenses; unarmed Africans are affected by no-knock raids and gunned down by police without question; economic sanctions prevail in the hood, and and people continue to act as if the Moynihan Report (which ultimately looks as if Biden has worshiped at the feet of it) is some bearer of truth about the African family structure.

Long rap about no knock bein’ legislated
For the people you’ve always hated
In this hell hole that you, we, call home

No knock, the man will say
To keep that man from beating his wife
No knock, the man will say
To protect people from themselves
No knockin’, head-rockin’, inter-shockin’
Shootin’, cussin’, killin’, cryin’, lyin’
And bein’ white
No knock

No knocked on my brother Fred Hampton
Bullet holes all over the place
No knocked on my brother Michael Harris
And jammed a shotgun against his skull

– Gil Scott-Heron

Who’s watching the watcher?
Tell me who’s keeping an eye
On those who claim to be keepers
Sitting safe with their view from the sky
Who is watching their morals
Tell me who says they’re okay
Oh, won’t you tell me who is gonna protect us
When it’s a watchman’s holiday

– Nona Hendryx/LaBelle

chicano protest
1971

But I thrive to survive, I pray to God to stay alive
My attitude boils inside
And that ain’t it, you think I’ll every quit
Still I pray to get my hands around
The neck of the man wit’ the whip
3 months pass, they brand a label on my ass
To signify, owned
I’m on the microphone

Sayin’ 1555, how I’m livin’
We been livin’ here
Livin’ ain’t the word
I been givin’
Haven’t got
Classify us in the have-nots
Fightin’ haves
‘Cause it’s all about money

– Public Enemy, Can’t Truss It

mothers against brutality

There are many Africans (in particular) who have been dreading having ‘the talk’ with their children.  The ‘talk’ has had many iterations:  the doll test/colorism, draconian drug laws, police terrorism…  While it’s crucial to speak with children about these matters as a means to prepare them for the world that sees them as less than sentient; one thing that’s missing from the conversation is the why.  It’s not enough to tell a child to ‘pull your pants up, always keep your hands up, never raise your voice,’ or all of these other means of respectability just to survive.  Is a society which sees us as less than human, and only as a means to siphon labor from something to be respected?  People eventually get tired, and they will fight back.

And make no mistake- capitalism will use this as another opportunity to profit off of trauma.  Families get torn apart, and it will be played 24/7 on news cycles.  It honestly would not be surprising if the protests are being encouraged/accepted as a means of increasing the spread of SARS CoV-2/Covid-19 (especially among African communities) and stating this spread as the reason to extend lockdowns/curfews…  but with even MORE surveillance.  Facial recognition technology has already been developed to deal with the wearing of masks.

When the masses resist, capitalism has already planned the response.  It needs to for its survival.

cop painting
(Photo: Quinn Dombrowski/Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0))

“Time is on the side of the oppressed today, it’s against the oppressor. Truth is on the side of the oppressed today, it’s against the oppressor. You don’t need anything else.”

― Malcolm X

We call their names, in remembrance and in protest:

Aiyana-Stanley Jones
Atatiana Jefferson
Tamir Rice
Bobby Hutton
Michael Brown
Eleanor Bumpers
John Crawford III
Finan Berhe
Amadou Diallo
Abner Louima (who lived to tell the story)
Miriam Carey
Eric Garner
Amílcar Cabral
Robert Sobukwe
Steve Biko
El Hajj Malik El Shabazz
Yvette Smith
Tanisha Anderson
Breonna Taylor
Thomas Sankara
Sean Bell
Aaron Campbell
Philando Castile
All MOVE organizers
Laquan McDonald
Martin Luther King Jr.
Leonard Peltier
And the millions more, named and unnamed

We call on the names of those who did not physically survive terror upon our collective bodies, minds and spirits…  We call on the names of those who have been targeted, tortured and assassinated under the system of U.S. and European imperialism.   But it’s not enough to speak their names.  How will we HONOR their names?

There’s only one solution.

All of the concerned calls, texts and e mails i’m getting are very nice; however, the system has been the same towards African and other colonized and marginalized peoples in all of the 42 years i’ve been on this earth.  If one is concerned for me as a result of what is currently happening, there can only be one response.  It may not be the answer people want right now, but it is the answer people need.  JOIN AN ORGANIZATION WORKING TOWARDS JUSTICE AND LIBERATION!!!

 

Stand Firm…

It wasn’t until we walked up to the microphones at the karaoke joint, when we realized Thank You For Being A Friend (aka ‘The Golden Girls’ theme) was a full song.

We were set to sing the version we knew…  until we saw another part to the first verse. i am old enough to be aware of the song (as i was alive during the song’s initial release- 1978); having seen the credits of ‘The Golden Girls’ time and time again, i even knew Andrew Gold was credited to be the songwriter.  Still, i (and my friend, and many others around the world) had no idea this song we cherished for ourselves had a further set of lyrics, charting one’s sincerity and gratitude towards another person.  The lyrics are simple yet crucial at a time where popular songs center romantic love (or flat out lust) as a goal to attain.  The song, without describing the gender of said ‘friend’, potentially challenges the socially accepted notion that ‘men and women cannot be friends’.  While ideally, a friendship should develop before building on something romantic (as you need a foundation to stand on before you can build the rest of a structure); again, most popular songs about ‘love’ center only the romantic (or lustful) type.

So…  My friend and i sang away, immediately catching on to the structure of this rendition we had no familiarity with (outside of the abridged version), and cherished our moment.  i would also come to have laughs with friends about some of the gospel renditions i would send.

(On a side note:  ‘The Golden Girls’ historically was one of those shows which resonated with varied groups of people, but the prominent voices who vocalized their approval were older women (who are usually not represented in popular culture as having an independent voice) and the LGBTQ+ communities.  Many people also took note of the comic timing of the show, as well as the (at the time (and still in some cases)) controversial subject matter.  The sexual agency of older women, gay marriage and racism/prejudice were a few of many subjects explored on the show, and few shows to this day explore these subjects in a way which resonate.)

It has been in more recent times where i returned to the song.  A sisterfriend and i were discussing Andrew Gold’s original version the other day, and upon listening to it i began to cry.

And when we both get older
With walking canes and hair of gray
Have no fear, even though it’s hard to hear
I will stand real close and say,
Thank you for being a friend 

Living amongst so much trauma, drama and depression as of late, it’s been even more isolating because for the most part i do not have my closest friends here with me. Though we talk on the phone amongst the geographical and time differences- and i am thankful this is able to happen… Not being able to give and receive hugs (and i love hugs!); not being able to laugh at or analyze/dissect bad movies late at night; not being able to have long conversations about political issues; to go roller skating and help each other get up when we fall, to have code words and sentences only we know, to sing songs with at the karaoke joint, to watch each other grow…  It gets a bit lonely, so i began to cry.

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Increasingly, the concept of ‘friendship’ appears to be shifting.  Prior to social media you had the concept of the ‘pen pal’; Looking forward to receiving a letter in the mail was one of the highlights of the day.  Sometimes you would even go to visit each other.  The word ‘friend’ gets used lightly, or in a cavalier fashion in this day and age, particularly with the use of social media.  People are ‘friends’ based on a limited connection; however, with some exceptions people do not seem to build relationships with each other outside of that.  Popularity is judged based on how many ‘likes’ or ‘followers’ one has.  There are times when a person is introduced as a ‘friend’ in social circles, yet the person doing the introductions cannot remember the ‘friend’s’ name.

My ideas about friendship have always been based on the ‘classic’ definition:  someone you could confide in, someone you could be vulnerable to, someone who will hold you accountable without being judgmental…  When you are young you think you are going to have all of the same friends for the rest of your life.  When this doesn’t happen you may ask a lot of questions of yourself; and just as this happens you gain a new series of friends (with a couple left over from the last part of your journey).  The cycle continues, and the people you once shared a closeness to have encountered new parts of their own journeys.  We all grow older; some of them get married, become parents, begin careers, change interests…  There are times along this journey where you may feel alone.  Every single person you contact is unavailable.  Some of them stop speaking to you for unknown reasons.

Holding on to the more ‘classic’ definition of what a friend is can be incredibly frustrating.  While relationships like this can, and still do exist; i had to re-explore what this actually means, given my current set of experiences and circumstances.  Where i am, nothing is the same as it was…  At all.  The first time i experienced this feeling was when one of my best friends, Barry, left this earth on February 4, 2011.  He left this earth at the same age i will be this year.  He was my rock.  Our late-night conversations always grounded me.  He pushed me to be my best creative self.  He was loved by so many people in his respective communities.  He was a father, an artist, a multi-instrumentalist…  a friend.

To this day, i have difficulty listening to his voice, or even looking at him.  i have audio of us talking, and i cannot listen to it.  Despite posting the video above, i cannot look at him. i avoid thinking about him, because it still hurts.  While i acknowledge one’s physical transition to be another aspect of their journey; while i acknowledge that his relationship to me served a very specific purpose in my life (in a spiritual sense); while i have acknowledged his not physically being here, something still feels very out of place for me, and i have yet to figure out what this is.  i have had some people in my life whom i’ve been close to leave this earth, and he is the only person i have not been able to move past.  Something in my life feels unfinished with him.

Shortly before his transition i had been trying to contact him for some time, and i had not heard back from him.  He was one of the busiest people i knew, but it was strange to not get one of his late-night calls after i’d get out of my job.  When i heard of his transition (from a mutual friend at the time, on social media no less) i felt paralyzed.  i didn’t particularly feel a need to find out any of the details (even though i did find out).  i did briefly communicate with his daughters after the transition; there were also people he was close to who contacted me, letting me know he talked about me a lot.  i didn’t have an interest in searching for information about any viewings or homegoing ceremonies.  He was one of my best friends but i felt disconnected from it all.

Given that i’ve acknowledged his not physically being here, i don’t consider it to be a denial stage.  i still feel that paralyzing feeling when i think about him though.

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Holding on to the ‘classic’ definition can be limiting, not only because it potentially holds on to this illusion of permanence; but the concept of ‘friendship’ also tends to shift in light of how ‘friends’ are viewed in other aspects of our lives.  Though my mother lives close to me (and as we’ve gotten older developed a friendship), our relationship is going to be different, based on the mother/daughter dynamic.  Many who believe in the existence of a higher power (or God) would consider a relationship with God to be a friendship, despite never having physically met, or even knowing what this one they consider a friend looks like. When cats and dogs (and other non-humans) are adopted, they are immediately considered by some to be friends or companions (or even babies), despite being a different species (and having different sets of communication tools) as a human.  The concept of ‘friendship’ makes sense when looking at God or a furry companion as a source of comfort.

In more recent times, how i identify ‘friendship’ has shifted.  Given that my closest friends are not physically here, this shift has become a necessity.  A few days ago i was riding my bicycle, and i saw a man taking pictures of the New Jersey skyline; his graying hair balding in the center of his scalp.  Never having met before, we exchanged hellos as we passed each other, and he said “It’s nice to see you,” with a stark familiarity. i do not know if he imagined that he knew me, or if he felt the same unknown familiarity.  Were we instant friends?  No.  Still, i am learning not to question such things.  It’s like when a baby smiles back at you, or begins to wave hello (or goodbye) 20 seconds after you did so. In these brief moments of unknown familiarity lies a sense of comfort, in a place where you experience trauma and isolation…  In a place where you feel like a stranger.  i really do think the universe sends us situations and random people to remind us of our humility.

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i was in midtown Manhattan on my bicycle, at a stoplight.  Being in a state of limbo (a state i am still experiencing, honestly- financial, emotional and more), a beautiful Rasta or Roots woman walked towards my direction. We exchanged silent glances, as if to say ‘hello.’  She continued to walk, still looking at me, and the only words she said were “Stand firm.”  i nodded my head and placed my hands over my heart, indicating thanks.  i marveled at this comment.  Is this something she’s said to others?  What was her perception of me, for her to recognize where i was at?  The funny thing is, i had not even reached the most stressful part of this journey at that point, so it was clear her intuition was strong.

There have been so many ‘tiny’ experiences to receive joy from, and that moment was simply, one of many i placed in my back pocket of precious moments.  Soon enough, those two words would make more sense than any two words i’ve heard in a long time. This woman was a true friend.  She taught me a major lesson.

Stand Firm.

i am in the most challenging place in my life i’ve ever been (and i have been through many), and while it looks as if i will never see the end of these challenges, i know like anything else, these challenges will pass.  Do i wish i knew when it will all pass?  To be honest, of course!  Not knowing causes major anxiety.  Being in an emotional, spiritual, economic and political battle all at once is enough to place someone in a constant state of anxiety.

Stand firm.

Live clean, let your works be seen,
Stand firm, or go feed worm.

-Peter Tosh

In the end, your actions are going to convey your true character.  At the same time, the words you speak (or sometimes, the music you listen to or images you watch) are going to bring either life or death to a situation.  What you are willing to fight and advocate for is going to convey that life or that death.  Every day, so many of us are beaten down (spiritually, economically, politically), we end up battling each other, and not the very systems which beat us all down.  And there is that one person who, out of the blue, in that moment of desperation…  reminds us to stand firm.

In the absence of your closest friends, other friends exist in the briefest moments.  i am still learning not to question it.

Thank you for being a friend.

Image: Young Friends Looking Happy And Posing For Camera, Creative Commons

Let me introduce myself… i am a writer.

My mother read the first entry from this blog.  i went to visit her yesterday, and she mentioned to me that i should be a writer.

This means a lot to me, coming from my mother.  i honestly do not know what has held me back all of these years, because certainly i love to write.  it’s one of the things which calms me; and i am a much better communicator in this medium than i am verbally (though i also do video commentaries)…  It’s not even the work/job conflation that holds me back.  Then again, it is.

i still have difficulty seeing that something i love to do could be a ‘potential business opportunity.’  You see articles everywhere saying, ‘make money off your blog!’, or ‘increase your brand’…  While i would LOVE to not have to clock in at a job, i (once again) do not have an entrepreneurial spirit.  i still want to be free to be able to do work without meeting quick deadlines, or dealing with overhead.  Somehow, i cannot see past that part.

It’s only in the past few months where i began shifting the idea of myself as a writer.  Whenever people would ask if i were a writer, i’d tell them “i like to write.”  i was uncomfortable with the title of writer, just as i was uncomfortable with the title of artist, despite studying photography in college (a student of the great Roy DeCarava (RIP)- we would have several conversations about our love for jazz.  One thing he told me, i will never forget.  i asked him if a piece i was working on was any good.  He asked me if it was something i would hang on my own wall.  After i told him yes, he said, “then it is a good photo.”)

Despite the many years of painting i’ve done; despite all the collages, the picture books,  the fanzines (yes, i’ve done those too), the text for comics, the drawing for most of my tattoos, the public access television, the playing in bands, the songwriting, creation of music recordings…  i have had trouble with calling myself an artist, a musician or a writer.  Despite doing all of these things, i had difficulty with the concept of ownership of these things- linking it all to the concept of a brand.  The anticapitalist in me (since the age of 15) wanted to share my works with people, without thinking of…  overhead.  ‘Major’ projects i have done were used to donate money to different organizations.

One thing i’ve learned though, is that it is crucial to think dialectically, and not to speak lack or loss into the universe.  While a profit motive is not the main goal, simultaneously, to say “no, i am not an artist- i just make art” is minimizing my own power to reach people in the way i want to.  i have had several people in my life who encouraged me to not give up writing; but it was  Lorraine Hansberry who contributed to the altering of how i saw myself as a writer.

It wasn’t just her ability to convey narratives that reflected realities of many people of African descent; it was the ideological conversations she had with herself (and others) that were the impetus for said narratives.  She developed an anti-capitalist and anti-imperialist analysis that fueled her work.

Of course, anyone doing this kind of work (of creating art, or even organizing around it) has mulled over the contradictions at some point.  That would be impossible NOT to do in a capitalist society.  One of the many things she asked in her journal writings was “Do I remain a revolutionary? Intellectually – without a doubt. But am I prepared to give my body to the struggle or even my comforts?… Comfort has come to be its own corruption.”  She also said of herself, if her health were to improve she looked at traveling to the South to organize amidst the turmoil, “to find out what kind of revolutionary I am.”

The great Nina Simone (who of course was inspired by Lorraine Hansberry, as Lorraine Hansberry was inspired by Langston Hughes) spoke of these same contradictions.  She once said, “We don’t know anything about ourselves.  We don’t even have the pride and the dignity of African people.  We can’t even talk about where we came from.  WE DON’T KNOW!”  In another interview she stated:  “My job is to somehow make (African people) curious enough… persuade them, by hook or crook, to get more aware of themselves and where they came from, and what they are into, and what is already there…  Just to bring it out.  This is what compels me to compel them.  And i will do it by whatever means necessary.”

She also says in the same interview that the work she does “completely takes all (her) energy, unfortunately”; however, because she recognizes the magnitude of this work by acknowledging the “kids who come backstage afterwards, who want to talk or who are moved…  Sometimes they are moved to tears…”  She took time out despite being tired, “perhaps to hear some of their grievances, or just to make them feel that they’re not alone.”  She adds, “The most important thing is, they are our future!  It’s an investment, as far as I’m concerned.  When I invest time in young people from colleges, I know that I’m gonna get that bread back.  You know, bread cast upon the water comes back.  Because when i see ’em doing their thing one day, and I’m too old to do anything but sit and look at them I’m gonna say, well, I was part of that.”  She saw it as her, and other artists’ “duty to reflect the times…  How can you be an artist and NOT reflect the times?”

Lorraine Hansberry speaks of the same sentiments.  Amidst her illness, she stopped to visit a group of young people who won a national writing contest:  “I wanted to be able to come here and speak with you on this occasion; because you are young, gifted and Black.  In the year 1964, I for one can think of no more dynamic combination that a person might be.  Look at the work that awaits you; write if you will.  But write about the world as it is, and as you think it ought to be and must be.  Work hard at it.  Care about it.  Write about our people.  Tell their story.”

In terms of the contradictions, Nina Simone said: “if I had my way, I’d’ve been a killer.  I would’ve had guns, and i would’ve gone to the South and gave ’em violence for violence; shotgun for shotgun…  if I had my way.  But my husband told me I didn’t know anything about guns; he used to teach me.  And the only thing I had was music, so I obeyed him.  But if I had my way…  I wouldn’t be sitting here today.  I’d be probably dead (her emphasis) somewhere, because i would have used guns during those years.  I was never a nonviolent person.”  She would have discovered what kind of revolutionary she was, had her husband not discouraged her.  The contradictions (and evidences of misogyny) definitely lie there, in that such a strong-willed woman was coerced (or forced) by her husband to not fight for her people, or against injustice in the matter she wished to.

This was not unlike what happened with Lorraine Hansberry.  Her husband colluded with doctors and others, to not inform her of the magnitude of her diagnosis, exacerbating her inability to heal in ways she most likely could have, had she been informed.

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To be able to fuel my art (whatever form i take on) as a means of reaching and inspiring people (as well as myself) is work; and i do not have to perceive it as a burden (or a job) to get a message out, based on whatever analysis i have about the society i live in.  If i am to truly stand on the shoulders of these two phenomenal women (who are also ancestors); if i am to continue the mission they sought out to do in terms of their creative journey, i have to alter how i look at what i do.

i am a writer.

a writer.  

An artist.

A human that has the capacity to receive love, and to love back.

 

(Image: Trounce- Wikimedia Commons)

There’s a reason for everything…

Some things don’t need explaining, but there is a reason.

This is the third (and a half) blog site i have decided to do.  The title of this blog (Overjobbed and Underworked) came out of a group of ideas i wanted to collaborate with folks on, podcast wise…  i still aim to develop a podcast out of this as blogging, wonderful as it is, still carries limited capabilities for expression.

In a conversation, when asked what we do, the question usually refers to occupation or vocation- what one does in order to pay bills/rent/mortgage.  In other words, “What do you do for a living?”  the fact that many of us are conditioned to associate being able to put money towards a roof over our heads as ‘living’ has always troubled me.  The fact that people look at working 50, 60 (or more) hours a week as a status symbol has always troubled me, particularly when evidence of the toll on one’s health and mental stability due to working that many hours is highly documented.  The fact that people around the world don’t have the means of basic quality of life- and you have to work massive amounts of hours just to attain that- has always troubled me.

Having a job where you are not paid your worth (and the people at the top make triple the amount you do), where you are not able to make collective decisions about your own position; when you are at the mercy of management or supervisors; where your contributions or ideas are not valued; and you do it all just to be so tired at the end of the job’s day, you don’t feel like doing anything but watching television…  This is not living.  Living is not a person who just gave birth having to return back to their job, not being able to spend time and bond with their baby; living is not giving all your hours to the job where you have no days off.  Living is not being in a space where you are not provided enough hours just so your place of employment can skip on providing insurance to employees…  A JOB IS NOT LIVING.  A job is a means to get the basic things you need, but it is not living.

Work and Job are two words that are deemed interchangeable in many cases.  We are, again, conditioned to look at a job or career as a goal to attain, as opposed to a tool or tactic.  Ever since i got my first ‘real’ job (as a mail room clerk and foot messenger at 16) i always looked at jobs as a way to experience life in various forms.  i have done everything from working on a farm, art modelling, door to door canvassing, bicycle deliveries, concessions clerk, yoga instructor, floral arranger, telemarketing, cutlery and energy salesperson, stacking boxes in a truck, packing bottles in a warehouse, doughnut maker and fryer, babysitter, produce/bulk stocker (and occasional buyer), grocery stocker, cashier, outreach coordination (and more)…  i have never desired to have a career in one thing my whole life.  The longest i have had a a job consistently was 10 years; and honestly i may have still been working there, had the experience (particularly towards the end) not been traumatic.  Obviously i realize (in the society i live in) having this number of jobs reduces many ‘serious’ prospects i have.  People have also marveled at the range of experience, and wondered why i never continued, for instance, being a yoga teacher.

It’s because i have trouble equating work and job in the same sentence.  Is that silly?  To some people, i’m sure it is.  Why would i want to depend on getting a paycheck from someone else when i could be making money on my own terms?  Where is my entrepreneurial spirit?  Frankly, i don’t have it.  i don’t want to deal with a lot of overhead, lawyers, licenses, etc.  i want to be able to do what i love without it eventually turning into a job.  In terms of the yoga instruction (which i did for four years), i had a spiritual dilemma- it did not sit right with me that i was getting paid for something that is centuries old, and you can do for free.

And herein lies the work- work is something we do in our lives every day towards being a better, more compassionate person.  ideally, we do not ‘clock out’ like a job when this work happens.  But this is what happened to me.  Despite having conversations toward creating Overjobbed and Underworked and looking forward to its creation, i sat on it, in the midst of the months of massive amounts of trauma and toxicity following me wherever i went.  i entered a period of increasing depression, and creatively froze….

…And here we are.  This blog you are reading right now came out of an extremely low period in my life.  Not only was i isolated from people i loved (and in many cases organized with), but i also had my wallet taken, leaving me with no access to money or identification. The wallet being stolen in and of itself is not my biggest worry, honestly; Being stuck…  Not being able to move on anything (where a lot of these things like identification are valued in the times we currently live in) is frustrating. Not being able to get money to eat or buy basic supplies is even more frustrating.  i have been at this place many times in life before, where my faith was tested tremendously, and i thought more and more about not physically being here (i have written about these things before, in my Michael Jackson blog, The One Woman Apollo.  Experiencing depression or suicidal thoughts is a very serious thing, so if possible PLEASE get some help, or speak to a loved one.  You are NOT alone).  Over the years (and during this ‘wallet’ situation) i have had some wonderful people in my life (strangers, acquaintances and friends) to guide me through these rough trials.  Also, being a spiritual person i understand that there is something bigger than myself.

i still don’t have the wallet (or any of its contents), but i knew i had to reevaluate my life.  Being back on the East Coast (after almost 20 years of being on the West Coast) has put a shock to my system.  Being (again) isolated, being told you need to make 40% of an income of whatever rent you are paying; people and buildings being unrecognizable….  The vibrancy and sense of community i grew up around is gone, and it’s leaving people to be more and more reactionary.  The newer residents isolate themselves, and call the police on cultural staples (ice cream trucks or drumming in the park).

i had to reevaluate my life.  i returned in order to help my mother, but ended up needing help myself.

i started taking mental notes of the smaller things i found beautiful or significant, to make sense of all this trauma around me.  i intended to write all of these things down in my other blog (Things I’ve been Knowing, which needs to seriously be updated), but i creatively froze.  Coordinating my mother getting into a new house.  Waving hello at babies and seeing them smile.  Having five squirrels all get on their back legs to say ‘hello’ in the middle of winter.  Comforting a woman whose brother died after an O.D.  Seeing Pharoah Sanders, front row center.  Meeting a woman whose car had pictures of cats all over it.  Getting caught in a rainstorm on a hot, muggy day.

Things that may not have significance to others, but amidst chaos, they make things brighter.

This is the work.  i may not have the ‘career’ i actually want right now- and i may not even get there in this life; if i do, that is wonderful, and i will take it for what it is- another aspect of my journey.  What i do know is that i want to live a life where there is value in what i do, as opposed to me simply being a means to someone else’s profit margin.  i want to be valued not by what kind of job i have, but what work i do.

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There’s a reason for everything…  i once again got to this low point to find the beauty in these smaller things.  Did i always acknowledge the beauty in small things?  Of course!  When you are in the midst of the storm though (especially in the belly of the beast), it’s very difficult to get closer to it all.  There’s much i have to be thankful for, and as words on a paper or screen have their limitations, adding a visual is one of the best ways i could express my feelings about these ‘smaller things’.

Thank you ‘smaller things’.  And thank you for reading this blog.